Archives for posts with tag: writing

There’s a difference between speaking and communicating.  We learn to speak at a young age and sometimes, we never get around to learning how to communicate.  We have the mistaken notion that communicating is achieved through merely expressing how we feel and this is simply not the case.

Randomly or indiscriminately expressing how we feel or think can be likened to, as distasteful as it may sound, ‘Verbal Diarrhea.”  It is a symptom of an unhealthy thinking pattern and can be destructive to relationships and friendships.

Communicating entails prior thought before words spill forth from our lips and we must be prepared to be responsible for the results and the effect of what we say.  Every single random thing that crosses our minds do not have automatic validity to be uttered, because, admit it or not, a lot of rubbish goes through our head in the course of even a few minutes.

When we attempt to communicate to another,we must be careful and think about what we really truly feel without wanting to manipulate the other person into responding the way we want them to because as common as this move is, it’s ultimately counterproductive to having an authentic relationship.

Sometimes, what we have to say might not be the most pleasant to another’s ears and instead of sweeping everything up and hiding them under the rug, there are some things which much be communicated but in such a manner where the other person would not find it threatening but firmly enough that they take it seriously.

It is often the case that when we are at the point when we are having an important conversation with our loved one that we are unsure about how we truly feel or what we want from the situation apart from the general feeling of being happy, sad, angry, etc. about a situation and it would be good to acknowledge this to the other person that perhaps one would need a minute or two (or a day or two) to figure out what one would like to convey instead of just speaking for the sake of speaking without care for possible collateral damage.

What we must remember about love and communication is that they are not two separate things, we must communicate with love and prudence.  We must not take for granted that just because we can speak that we would automatically know how to communicate properly with another.

When it doubt, pause, and ask/research/read before speaking.

(c) Niconica 2011*

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What is popularly defined as “love” can be the authentic version or “infatuation” the bootleg version of it.  Unfortunately, at the onset, it is hard to tell which is which is which… and as with most things, the passage of time serves to separate the true from the false… with a lot of casualties on the wayside.

Romantic love, with the above consideration, is both a delight and a delusion, with only time to serve as both its arbiter and judge.  It is fortunate that, as much as we would like to believe, things do not happen in one fell swoop.  As the events progress, we get little hints and clues of the symptoms of the nature of the relationship, and we can take action accordingly.

It is hardly this simple though since when we find ourselves to far into the delights or the delusions of “love” to take action… whether it is through actual emotional blindness or contrived blindness so that we would be able to cling to the relationship or the object of our affections for one more day… until the one more day stretched indefinitely and goes past the point of no return.

(c) Niconica 2011*

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It is a pity that Jane Austen was not aware of the mesmerizing effect her novels would have on generations of women in the future.  She writes about love, courtship, and social graces where the men exist in the novels as objects of romantic affection as well as the pursuers in matters of the heart – the perfect “modern” fairy tale.

I use “modern” here as a phrase relative to the usual setting of fairy tales which would probably be more at home in the medieval  age of chivalry.  Of course, compared to our early 21st century era – Jane Austen’s period would not be considered modern anymore.

Even if we do not admit it out loud, in our heart of hearts we would like to imagine men to be as they are in Jane Austen’s books – which portrays their roles and existence from the feminine perspective.

Why our minds more easily get caught up in the ideas of love and romance is a source of both delight and disappointment to us.  (But, I digress.)

Back to the topic, Jane Austen is simply a genius–she is the writer’s writer of her genre–her observations of the nuances and subtleties of human behavior pours into the story, characters, and pages smoothly… and we laugh, cry, and get annoyed the lead characters as they experience the story unfolding around them – and almost wish that we were part of that world.

She writes about love and courtship so gracefully that it seems as though she has been out there and experienced it all.  However, the question would have to be raised that had she been out there experiencing it all, she might not have found the time to put pen to paper and entrance us with her novels.

Her keen insights into love, courtship, romance, and marriage are exquisite… and it is evident in her novels. Her novels serve as a commentary on human nature –their frailties and foibles–which, despite ongoing advancements in science and technology, remain pleasantly and disappointingly similar.

Her characters are poignant, memorable, infuriating, and delightful… one cannot help but wish that she had lived to write more of her masterpieces.

In our hearts and in our minds, we proclaim, “Long Live  Jane Austen!”  Thank you for teaching us about the joys and pitfalls of love and romance, among many other things.

(c) Niconica 2011*

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I’ve asked myself  often, why write?  Why this overwhelming need to put pen to paper or tap away at the keyboard of the computer and come up with words strung together in what we might hope to be a coherent and melodious rhythm?  Why the constant struggle with the ebb and flow of words and the dreaded writer‘s block?  And I suppose that the answer is, instead of all the numerous justifications and reasons which can be used: because I cannot not write.

I have read somewhere that one is either a writer or isn’t – and writers are a different breed altogether – the compulsion and the need to churn words out in what we hope to be intelligible format is part and parcel of who we are… whether it is published or not is irrelevant.  While the notion of being published is probably many writers’ Holy Grail, it is still beside the point… we just need to write, we cannot live without constructing sentences and expressing ourselves in such a manner, even if it is only for ourselves to read… even if it is only for ourselves to make sense of our inner and outer worlds.

A writer is both a participant and an observer in life and it is this dichotomous friction which when in harmony produces the flame of  writing which illuminates. On the other hand, when the role of participant and observer are at odds which each other, which is more often than not the case, it produces the tortured frustration which can only be alleviated by putting pen to paper so to speak and letting the words spill out.  And the cycle then repeats itself.  It cannot be helped.  And this is why I write.

(c) Niconica 2011*

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A lot of time and effort has been expended wondering about the nature of love and the reasons for love – and there are as many explanations are there are blades of grass in a field.  They are myriad and inconclusive.

Each definition carries a grain of truth – but not the whole truth and it depends on the people involved and the nature of their experiences.

All this would go to show that there is no good reason for falling in love – people just do.  People fall in love for all sorts of reasons which they are unable to comprehend or make sense of.

Falling in love is irrational and should be recognized as such since at times – there are a million good reasons for falling in love and yet we don’t; while during other times, there are no good reasons present for falling in love with someone and yet we find ourselves swimming in love’s embrace without knowing quite how or why.

Love is illogical and it just happens.  When it finds us, we have no choice but to either surrender to it – or resist with all our might… only to succumb to it in the end.

Happy Heart’s Day!

(c) Niconica 2011*

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This is in response to the Plinky prompt via The Daily Post @ WordPress ( which goes like this: Are you an optimist, a pessimist, or something else?

My response would be:  Both – which amounts to something else.  I am optimistic enough and pessimistic enough and it blends together to constitute something else – a Cynical Idealist or an Idealist Cynic.
Put in simplistic terms, an optimistic sees the glass half full and the pessimist sees the glass half empty.  In my case, I want to see the glass as half full and am determined to do so while at the same time having to acknowledge that the glass can yet stand to be filled even more…
Ahh… the delightfully frustrating ever fluid ambiguity and ambivalence of it all…
(c) Niconica 2011*
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The Plinky writing prompt as posted in the site asks, “When teleportation is finally possible, where will you beam yourself first?”  This topic is just too appealing to skip over… and I do concur that it is a question which will garner different answers from the same person when asks during different times, but during this very minute – my first honest but probably not as wise instinct would be to say, “I’d like to teleport to go see a romantic interest.”

It’s funny, isn’t it?  For all our logic and good sense – and the presence of a hypothetical teleportation device – when we are romantically interested in someone (be it infatuation or love – who knows), all other thoughts go out the window, leaving the pressing need to be with or see the person we fancy.  During a different time – specifically during the down cycles where we do not have anyone we have our eye on, the teleportation device might be used for something more interesting – like visiting the Moon, Saturn, or Jupiter.

However, such is the inclinations of the human mind that when the heart speaks, there is a temporary shutdown of the mind, so to speak.  For all our scientific progress, we have yet to find a way to overcome ourselves and the frailties of human nature.  Interesting, isn’t it?

(c) Niconica 2011*

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This is what writer‘s block feels like – a stack of papers which pile up in our brain and yet we are unable to make heads or tails of it all as it threatens presently to crash down upon us.  The paralysis and the frustration which ensues is unparalleled – knowing that there is an availability of ideas but not knowing which to pull out and use first or unable to even make sense of the incoherent jumble of ideas present in the archives of our minds.

It is during this point when it pays to seize the writing bug when it bites us and churn out a couple of posts in a frenzy – and stagger the release of the posts as suggested by The Daily Post (  There would really be some days where writing doesn’t flow quite easily.  Julia Cameron has also suggested in The Artist’s Way the use of the tool of the “Morning Pages” where one writes freely to empty one’s brain of all the words and thoughts jumbled up inside to make room for actual writing and/or creativity to flow.

Both these techniques have served me well to a certain extent – except that my “Morning Pages” are not actually done in the morning and they are not done as regularly as it has been prescribed.  I can imagine that if I had done it daily was recommended, that it would free up the clutter of my mind and reduce the so-called stacks of paper from threatening to heap upon me.

Another technique which has served me well when I am unable to write is to read books about writing and/or stories about writers and how they deal with the daily terror of the blank page.  However, it must be pointed out that reading tomes upon tomes of books about writing does not replace writing at all, even though reading the advice of writer’s about writing may feel that we are enveloped by the craft – it is almost too tempting to get lost in the illusion of it and not actually come out of the inspirational haze and plop ourselves down on our chairs and actually write.

Writing can only be accomplished by actually writing – by putting pen to paper, or by clicking away on the keyboard, or typewriter.  There is no other way.  Great and successful writers have managed to fully commit to writing – to write and churn out a certain word count a day for a certain number of hours whether they are in the mood or not.  For others who have not gotten to that point yet, it depends on one’s moods… and it has to be stressed that, when the mood strikes, we must seize the moment and squeeze out as many words as possible – to prepare for the period of drought to come.

(c) Niconica 2011*

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This blog entry is in response to the post asking “How’s your Post a Day/Post a Week progress coming along?”

I’m pleased to say that I have managed to post at least once a week – and at most every other day… which is all well and good since I have joined Post A Week 2011 instead of Post A Day 2011 which I originally wanted to join.

I check The Daily Post at site daily to check for writing prompts and inspirational posts which they have kindly provided and they have been a big help.

The weekly deadline is a commitment which prompts me to overcome my tendency for procrastination and the dreaded writer’s block.  I am pleased with what accomplished thus far and am looking forward to (hopefully) be able to come up with more posts further down the line.

I’ve chosen the image of ticking clocks to illustrate the sensation of meeting the blogging deadline – it feels as through several phantom ticking clocks surround me through out the week reminding me to come up with ideas for posts and furthermore to actually sit down and write.  It is both enjoyable and disconcerting at the same time.

Techniques which have supported me to be able to meet the challenge of posting weekly or more than once a week is having a notebook to jot down ideas for posts.  Again, we go back to the classic writer’s notebook – pen and paper at its best.

Many thanks to for the support and encouragement and to Plinky for the wonderful prompts!

Best of luck (and hard work)  to all of us participating in the Post A Day 2011 and Post A Week 2011 challenge!

(c) Niconica 2011*

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Many thanks to and Plinky for the prompt “Do yu believe everything happens for a reason?  Why or why not?”  I’ve signed up for the WordPress Postaweek2011 Challenge but I’ve been trying to post more often than that.  There’s a certain thrill in completing these so-called “writing assignments” as blog posts as often as I can.

The title of this post illustrates my position that I have a need to believe that things happen for a reason – that there is “A Reason Behind the Madness” of the events which transpire in the world and in our lives.  I cannot be be certain what the exact reason behind the madness is but it gives me great comfort that a reason exists – and if it doesn’t, it should.

(c) Niconica 2011*

*Copyright applicable to the text only