Archives for posts with tag: Stories and Thoughts

It happens in one split second, and before you know it, you’re a goner.  You’ve fallen and you know that there is no backtracking–you’re helplessly in love and there is usually no fantastically profound reason for it except that you simply have.  It’s one of the most exhilarating and horrifying experiences one could ever experience and it involves a relinquishing of one’s grasp over one’s feelings and just letting it carry you away.

We are often cautioned and told to play mind games or hold our feelings back and it is with good reason that we are advised to do so.  Love can hurt.  Love can break us.  It is one of the purest risks that we would ever take and there might be no coming back from it.  So we try to avoid rejection and we try to keep ourselves safe, and we wonder why we feel that that there is something more to experience.

The moment that we affix high expectations on love and on the person whom we have fallen in love with, we have set ourselves up to fail miserably because it is more likely that ever that they may never meet our unrealistic and idealistic expectations of what kind of people they should be and how they should treat us.

We may also have strange ideas about what love is supposed to feel like that we wouldn’t recognise it even when we are deeply in and and by the time an inkling dawns, it might be too late.  We might have let pass us by because we are too scared to let go and allow uncertain and unknown experiences to take us with it.  We prefer to stay safe.  We prefer to stay in fear.

Whatever happens after, the moment we realize we have fallen in love, there is an imperceptible click in our hearts and everything just seems clearer and more meaningful and at the same time our emotions reach out to greater extremes than we care to experience when we are in a saner state of mind.  We can’t help it when we find ourselves in that moment.

Perhaps, it might end up badly.  Perhaps we might get hurt.  Perhaps it might not result in the ideal ending which we hope to achieve.  Perhaps we are just letting our fears run away with us and cheat us of experiencing the finer and more poignant experience life has to offer.  Perhaps we may let love in and experience the lessons and moments it has to offer us.  Perhaps it might be a risk which pays of.  Perhaps.

(c) Niconica 2013

 

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Limerence is an involuntary state of mind which results from a romantic attraction to another person combined with an overwhelming, obsessive need to have one’s feelings reciprocated.”  This aforementioned quote comes from Wikipedia.  It is a concept which I have recently come across over a week ago.  It is an interesting phenomenon explaining what can commonly be attributed as a “crush” or “infatuation” without immaturity as a factor, and strangely enough, it can almost be considered a mental condition–and takes the romance out of attraction and “falling in love.”

It is strange to find oneself in the throes of unreciprocated feelings and obsessive preoccupation with a person whom one had been neutral towards before and find a clinical and scientific description of one’s experience and yet despite an intellectual understanding of one’s experience, be unable to extinguish the feelings for the person whom one fancies.  By nature, the involuntary nature of the feelings leaves us helpless, we can endeavour to avoid the person in order to limit or remove the stimuli from further engulfing us in the vicious cycle.

We must find ways to occupy our thoughts and cope with the situation until the unwanted intrusive thoughts of the person is no longer experienced and we are able to find ourselves unaffected by the mention of their name, their presence, or any communique from them.  Meanwhile, we must contain ourselves from badgering the person despite the desperate desire for our feelings to have our feelings reciprocated–or at the very least for our feelings and our presence to be acknowledged.

We must also not fool ourselves with the perennial excuse that we would like to be “just friends” with them because in all reality, we will just be extending the emotional torment and feeding on false hopes that they might change their minds.  Being “just friends” with them will further the addiction towards the person and will only be detrimental to us when the feelings are not reciprocated, which is why we have found ourselves in this undesirable state of mind in the first place.

We must find a way to detach ourselves and move forward–even if it is a step at a time.  It will be the only way where we may save ourselves from further emotional hell and live to love another day–perhaps in a more healthy and mutually reciprocated manner.

(c) Niconica 2013

We used to have to consult hefty tomes of Collier’s Encyclopedia and Encyclopedia Brittanica, but now thanks to Wikipedia, it was much easier to call up the definition of our topic for the day “Soulmate.”

According to Wikipedia, a soulmate is a person with whom one has a feeling of deep and natural affinity, similarity, love, intimacy, sexuality, spirituality, or compatibility.  Note, it says “or”, and not “and”.

So despite all the wonderful movies giving homage to the romanticized version a Soulmate… the other less dramatic versions of soulmate falls by the wayside.  Our friends and family members can be our soulmate too.

And before we start thinking that there is a quota of “1” for the soulmate category, I would have to say that i do not believe that there is just one soulmate for each person.

We meet many soulmates in our lifetime and we need not be in despair that the soulmate factor should only apply to romantic relationships which by their very nature, tend to be fleeting.

Some people meet a few, one, or none of their soulmates (which can also be referred to as members of their “soul group”) in their lifetime. It’s always a blessing when we do find these kindred spirits in this chaotic and spotted path we call life.

To have these kindred spirits have an intuitive understanding of us and be on the same page makes life more bearable and infinitely more enjoyable.

(c) Niconica 2011*

*does not apply to images

A lot of time and effort has been expended wondering about the nature of love and the reasons for love – and there are as many explanations are there are blades of grass in a field.  They are myriad and inconclusive.

Each definition carries a grain of truth – but not the whole truth and it depends on the people involved and the nature of their experiences.

All this would go to show that there is no good reason for falling in love – people just do.  People fall in love for all sorts of reasons which they are unable to comprehend or make sense of.

Falling in love is irrational and should be recognized as such since at times – there are a million good reasons for falling in love and yet we don’t; while during other times, there are no good reasons present for falling in love with someone and yet we find ourselves swimming in love’s embrace without knowing quite how or why.

Love is illogical and it just happens.  When it finds us, we have no choice but to either surrender to it – or resist with all our might… only to succumb to it in the end.

Happy Heart’s Day!

(c) Niconica 2011*

*does not apply to the images