Archives for posts with tag: inspirational

Yes I’ve emerged from the black hole once again.  Life has gotten in the way somehow–and we all know that when it rains, it pours and one misfortune can easily call up a bunch of other misfortunes in a short period of time, sweeping us away in a torrent of self-pity, regret, anger, and depression as we constantly ask ourself “Why did it have to happen to me?”  There is no satisfactory answer because the presence of the misfortune in and of itself will eclipse any philosophical or religious feel good point of view shared with us.

While it seems that the path of least resistance is to just allow the downhill slide of emotions, sometimes we are fortunate enough to be in the midst of people who will not allow us to go down that road.  They will try to pull us out of our misery with advice and attention and discussion but we may resent them for being cheerful or optimistic and think that they would not know how it feels unless they are in our situation.  It is most likely true that other people do not know or will not know how we really feel unless they themselves have gone through what we have gone through–but what are the chances that they go through the exact same thing?

Nonetheless, it doesn’t make their well wishes and good intentions any less viable.  After all, in the midst of misfortune, being able to keep our wellbeing and sanity would already seem like a huge blessing and sometimes, it is.  It’s a great starting point for being able to pick up the pieces and get past the rubbish and the rubble of whatever has occurred.  We must take our lessons for people who are doing well in life mentally, psychologically, emotionally, and physically.

It might seem to us that it’s sheer accident that some people are doing well and some people aren’t.  It might seem that it’s all the luck of the draw. However, once we have gotten sick and tired of our whining and wallowing in our own misery, and we are lucky to not have drowned in it, we might realise one thing about these people–Winners do not wallow.  They survive not by sheer chance or laziness.  If we examine their lives, they have a lot of setbacks as well–on different scales and of different qualities as our own, but one thing you won’t hear them do is bring it up over and over again.  They do not drag around the corpse of defeat and misfortune with them and that makes all the difference.

If wallowing were a sport, I might be a professional at it  However, it’s a profession that doesn’t have a good return of investment so I have to rethink this preoccupation.  Less wallowing might not ward off life’s challenges but it doesn’t help as well, it also makes our disposition sour and disagreeable and causes life to be more unpleasant. While there are a lot of things which are not going quite right, and while there are a lot of things which still want for improvement, we can make it easier for ourselves to look at people who have made it and be inspired by their example.

Undoubtedly, people who have it together have other qualities and habits which make them thrive in life, but even if we learn just one thing from them for starters is that they do not make it a habit to wallow in misery and replay the past in their heads, they are fully in the present moment with their eyes set on the future, no matter how hard or difficult the past has been, they do not let it factor into their present endeavours.  This is something worth striving for–a step in the right direction.

(c) Niconica 2015

It has been said that idle minds are the devil’s playground and it certainly applies in the realm of romance when we are suffering the pangs of unrequited love.  If we are mature enough to not stalk or prostrate before the object of one’s affections and beg for their love or attention, then we must know that keep ourselves occupied with something other than thoughts of the person whom we believe has ‘broken our hearts’ is the best way to deal with this.  It does not pay to go down the road of wishful thinking nor speculation as to why we have found ourselves in such a predicament.

The facts are clear when the person is not inclined to reciprocate our feelings–we need not delve into their inner thoughts not intentions because no good can come of it.  We must also avoid thinking that there is something that we can actually do to win their affections because once it becomes very clear to us that it is a lost cause–it often is a lost cause.  It can be hoped that we have lived in the world sufficiently long enough to harbour a realistic worldview which includes knowing that there are many things–in fact, most things–out of our control, and this just happens to be one of them.

As much as we would want things to turn out a certain way because we are convinced that they are our soul mates or that they are perfect for us, we must swallow the painful truth that they cannot be perfect for us because no one is perfect as well as the fact that they cannot be our soul mate if we don’t even warrant a strong or intense romantic response from their part.  True, soul mates can come in the form of friends, but that’s another topic altogether.  Back to the topic of dealing with unrequited love, we must strive to channel our frustration elsewhere and it would be good if we use the energy towards something which benefits the world in general such as volunteering for worthy causes, or raising funds for a non-profit organisation, or even, simply by donating time, money, or goods to charity.

There are many things which are out of our control.  We cannot make someone who doesn’t love us, love us… But instead of becoming a whirling dervish of gloom, we can instead choose to give happiness to others who need them even more instead of sulking and pining to the detriment of our own physical and mental health–as well as those who are around us who have to put up with our black moods.  Ideally, we must learn to accept the situation and let go of it but it might be too much to ask so perhaps keeping busy would be a better immediate antidote which might lead to eventually being able to let go.

(c) Niconica 2013

So far it’s all been rather somber and serious – even the “Simply Jimbalian” cake was rather withdrawn… so I’ve decided to go for a touch of whimsy this time.

I’ve been enjoying buttercream icing as a medium, but I do know that I should eventually give the other kinds of icings a try.

Roses are still my favorite though and i would like to be able to practice my skills in making roses with other mediums.

(c) Niconica 2010

I would have to admit that when I started this blog back in March, I wasn’t really sure what to expect.  Initially it was a way to indulge in my love of writing and share my thoughts.  In the course of the past few months, I’ve ventured from writing articles (which are meant to be thought-provoking at the very least, and at best, inspirational) to trying my hand at writing reviews, sharing funny photos of my pet dog, to sharing my newfound interest in cake decorating.

It occurs to me that a monthly summary is a good idea and would like to make it a regular occurrence.  In this instance, I shall include March and April blog entries.

March 2010

“Wanted: Perfection”

“Time for Miracles”

“True Fear”

“The Perfect Storm”

“Blessings”

“The Real Mask”

“Gravity”

“Uncharted Territory”

“Simple and Ordinary Moments”

“Wanted: Perfection” is about how we sell ourselves out in our quest for perfection.  “Time for Miracles” is about allowing miracles to happen in our lives.  “True Fear” challenges us to face our fears.  “The Perfect Storm” shares that there is a silver lining in destruction.  “Blessings” invites us to contemplate on the interchangeable nature of blessings and curses.  “The Real Mask” provokes us to face our true selves.  “Gravity” inspires us to live to the fullest, while “Uncharted Territory” evokes us to take more chances.  “Simple and Ordinary Moments” encourages us to cherish the simplicity of ordinary moments.

April 2010

“Poem 172”

“Poem 182”

“Leaving the Darkness”

“Memories”

“Poem 172” and “Poem 182” are both about love.  “Leaving the Darkness” is about letting go of negativity. “Memories” inspire us to deal with memories in a healthy manner.

July 2010

“The Clean Slate”

“It’s a NOYNOY State of Mind”

“Dainty and Sweet”

“Turquoise Delight”

“A Sojourn to District 9”

“As Sweet as Fine Wine”

“Out of the Delectable Blue”

“A Slice of Rainbow”

“Vibrant Green Blessings”

“Pretty in Pink”

“Sentimental Sweetness”

“Roses are Red”

“Potato Alert”

“Violets and Blues”

“Subdued Sweetness”

“The Kindle Book Parade is in Town”

“Aqua Sweetness”

“Swirl”

“The Clean Slate” discusses being able to start anew while “A Sojourn to District 9” is a movie review on District 9.  “The Kindle Book Parade is in Town” relates my experience of reading Kindle books on my iPod.  “Potato Alert” contains funny photos of my pet dog holding a potato hostage and the rest of the other entries have photos of my cake decorating projects.

Stay tuned for more articles, reviews, poetry, and photos!

(c) Niconica 2010

While there may be a series of stops and starts, there can only be one true beginning.  While it can be contested that time and experience might almost make certain that no adult would have the proverbial clean slate, situations (on the other hand) can claim tabula rasa at the initial onset.  It is at the verge when all possibilities exist and is not yet polluted by the complicated interactions and machinations of human emotions.

It is at this crucial and priceless juncture that one can invoke the power of being able to start anew – as much as is possible.  However, most of us drag around our issues and baggages like corpses and bring it to the table when we begin anything and chances are, we end up consciously or unconsciously bringing the same problems to the table which then once again resurrects the vicious cycle of challenges.  It’s not to say that we should hide or suppress our issues as that would be unhealthy and would probably end up undermining the new experience.

Noting that fabricating fictitious backgrounds and personas would probably backfire in the end, the suggestion is simply this: be aware of the precious new window of opportunity that a new beginning and clean slate provides.  A new beginning should not be a convenient excuse for escapism but should warrant careful consideration.  It is in fact the closest we can get to a rebirth, and is a better second chance than an actual second chance would be.  Being able to start anew is better than any second chance we may ask for.

(c) Niconica 2010

Have you ever felt cheated by your memories?  During different moments, they can be elusive, ever changing, and selective.

Whenever we look back at the fabric of our past, it seems to glitter, change, and transform into different colors – and when we choose to focus on a certain hue, it might almost change our perception of reality altogether.

It is an utter conundrum – our memories can be cruel or kind. When taken together, it’s a jumbled and tangled mass, which when unravelled would seem to almost be an utter illusion.  This makes me think that we should not take our memories, or the past, too seriously.

In saying that, it does not mean that amnesia is recommended – for we know all too well that if we do not learn the lessons of the past, we might be doomed to repeat them again.

However, if at times we are tempted to dip into the well of our recollections, we should be able to let go once the cup is empty so that we allow ourselves to remember something else next time – and be able to detach from it once again in order to be able to come back and live in the present.

We do not want to be haunted by memories, do we?  No  matter how beautiful or how horrible they are, they have gone.

Let us allow the memories to waft through us like a poignant scent, stream through us like flowing water or brush past us like a gust of wind, then continue to firmly have our feet in the present, resolutely walking forward, without letting ourselves be altered or confused by nostalgia or resentment.

Be here.  Right here.  Right now.  So that you will be able to make new memories, instead of simply just looking back at the old ones.

(c) Niconica 2010

The more we think about it, the more it irks us.  What am I going on about?  I’m referring to the senseless random things that go wrong in our lives.  The more we think about it the more frustrated we feel.  The more we try to find a reason for the madness of it all, the more agitated we become.

Let me assure you at this point – all the struggle is futile.  What use is it to sit in the darkness and rave and rant, brood and sulk, when all these efforts will be to no avail.  What use is all the useless anguish, when it is just as possible (and maybe not as easy) to stand up, leave the darkness and walk to the light – without trying to make sense of what we leave behind.

There will be a thousand and one reasons why things did not turn out as it should have or could have.  There are a million and one possibilities as to why it happened, and since omniscience evades us, it is unlikely that we would find out why.

Nevertheless, not knowing how or why the cookie crumbled is not a good enough excuse to sit there in tormented stagnation waiting for the proverbial answer to fall from the sky.

Realistically, if you did know the underlying reason would it really make you feel better?  It does not detract from the fact that it cannot change the event.  Only you can change.  And it is time.

Stand up, flick off the dust of the past, and move forward – move into the light.  It is not as easy as it sounds.  You are just as welcome to stay in the darkness for as long as it pleases you.

However, when you are ready to let the darkness take care of itself, the first step into the light is through none other than forgiveness – forgiving ourselves and others.

Forgiveness, as difficult, as challenging, and as impossible as it may sound, allows us a purging, a letting go like no other.  It is time.  Do you pick the darkness over yourself – over your redemption?  Take the first step.  At least, try.

(c) Niconica 2010

Have you ever lost your mind?  If you have lost it at some point or another, be grateful that you have not lost it completely.  If you haven’t, be thankful that it’s still intact somehow… and functioning… sort of.

Until we are confronted with something so dire, so difficult as a terminal or long term illness, a sobering loss, or a shattering crisis, we live our lives in a bubble, completely unaware of how bad everything can get.

While we are in the bubble, all that we can be bothered to do is chase after shiny, shimmery, glittery, and pretty things.  All that we seem to end up preoccupied with is the pursuit of fancy dreams and fleeting illusions.

All we keep thinking is that things are not good enough, and we deserve or want more things – better things.  If we are lucky enough to get them – that’s great, but if we aren’t, it becomes an endless chase for happiness which ironically makes us more and more miserable, because we can never have enough.

Once you’ve lost your mind completely to complete and utter chaos and experienced sobering emptiness, you finally actually come to and start to seek within and gain a semblance of calm.

You will find that everything that you had been chasing for had been meaningless all along and that the simple and ordinary things such as being able to smile again, to laugh again, the think again, to walk again, and to speak again, are such great blessings.

And what if you have never lost your mind at all?  What if you have never gone through such soul numbing, gut wrenching, mind blowing experiences?  Then all the better to rejoice that you are one of the fortunate ones, and open your eyes to the wonderful simple ordinary pleasures which surround us.

It is the simple and the ordinary which are strung together like pearls to make life wonderful and meaningful, and this makes the amazing and the extraordinary shine and valued even more.

Cherish the simple and ordinary moments.  Welcome the rare and beautiful moments.  With this in mind, every moment is a cause for celebration.

(c) Niconica 2010

Maps are very useful tools, especially when we first step foot into unfamiliar terrain.  If only it were so easy that every single experience in life would come with a map to guide us through.  Unfortunately, that is not the case.

Most of the time, when we are brave – or foolish – enough to push the envelope further, we find ourselves in the middle of nowhere and we have to rely only on our wits to survive.  When we are in the middle of a strange place, we find out what we are truly made of – eventually.  We find out whether we sink or swim, fly or fall, win or lose.

As much as we could want to call out for help and use the GPRS system, we find that the satellites have not yet been invented to help us get through uncharted emotional and experiential grounds and all we can do is say a little prayer and carry on – hoping that we survive.

As we stumble through the unexplored thicket, our apprehension causes us to seek refuge in the confusing but temporarily effective mixture of anxiety and reason.  We alternately comfort ourselves with relaxing fantasies and detach ourselves from the unnerving foreboding with seemingly immutable logic.

However, this curious concoction can only get us so far before that buzz wears off and we have to confront ourselves – and this fact, more than the anxiety of being lost, is even more horrifying.

When the effects of the self-inflicted oscillating medley wears off, we have to accept the fact that there is no available map, no established path, no illusion, and no logic which effectively shields us from the novelty, ambiguity and unpredictability of being at some point where we have never been before.

As much as we might be tempted to refer to the past as a frame of reference, we shouldn’t since in doing so, we then risk the hazard of imposing a defunct blueprint which would most likely not be relevant to present circumstances.  As much as outdated diagrams might be more accessible and enticingly easy to refer to, referring to the obsolete would most likely turn out to be more dangerous than having no map at all and starting from square one.

What’s left then is for us to buckle down and face the challenge of actually charting a brand new map of what we discover.  It might be more of a rough sketch or a doodle riddled with slight to gross inaccuracies than the exact scaled diagrams which we might prefer.  We find ourselves relying on raw mettle more than anything else, along with the contingent blend of exhilarating fortitude and unsettling trepidation.

Take courage and you will find that through the precarious balance of sheer guts and blind faith, a fresh world unfolds beguilingly, a new map drawn out, and a transformed person emerges, possibly fumbling at some point, but ultimately prevailing.

(c) Niconica 2010


Gravity has very much to do with any sort of fall.  Unless we are in outer space, gravity does not seem to play any favorites.  However, there is a way to trick, cheat, or work around gravity and we have found many ways to do it – through parachutes, airplanes, flying balloons, and bungee jumping cords.  These are ways to enjoy the free fall without completely losing control, and thus keep us safe to a certain extent.

The other sort of falls which are unmediated by safety measures mostly turn out to be accidents or mishaps of some sort – with someone or something coming out the other end a bit worse for wear.  This is what everyone tries to avoid, as much as they possibly can.  So again, in the interest of safety, we try to keep our two feet on the ground as much as possible.

Both these methods are concerned with caution – with minimizing risk and loss.  While it is wise to engage in one or both ways of prudence, taking the preoccupation with risk aversion to an extreme is another matter altogether.  Sooner or later, we find ourselves living a life of utter order, discipline, and even suppression.  Sooner or later, we find ourselves so utterly safe with these devices which we have adapted to bypass gravity and we wonder why we feel numb and flat.  Sooner or later, our whole energy falls into a deep hibernation.

Logic dictates that proceeding with caution is the best way to live.  After all, with the dangers and uncertainties about, it would be but natural to find a way to cocoon ourselves from all the potential threats to our peace of mind.  Reason cannot argue otherwise.  It is irrefutable that being careful, in control, following the rules, and protecting ourselves – even from something as general as gravity itself – are sought after qualities.

However, the perils of falling into the deep end of logic might be as dangerous as falling into the deep pools of passion, if not even more so.  In pure passion, we are at least fully alive in the moment, could the same thing be said for being in pure logic?

Seeking shelter in the solace of reason could not be wiser and equally dubious – for what is life but an incomprehensible series of seemingly random and uncontrollable events?

As we attempt to find some semblance of order and control, we would undoubtedly be faced with the fact that life is inexplicably messy and chaotic while being attempted to be tied together by arbitrary laws of physics such as gravity.

It might petrify us to know that at any moment we might miss a step and slip, and gravity is there, ready to pounce on us – then we’ll be done for.  It’s almost scary enough for us to curl up into a ball and hide, isn’t it, knowing that at any moment we can fall… gravity might do it’s thing and that would be it.

It’s almost mind-numbing to think through all the reasons why we should not take risks – especially with the uncertainties and the unexpected joyous and horrifying moments lurking the dark, just around the corner.  And yet, what would life be without all the risks, the uncertainties, the flying, the falling, the moments of perfection, the mistakes, the triumphs and the defeats?

For at every moment we take a true risk, we are more alive than ever.  For every moment we face the unknown, we are more courageous than ever.  For every moment we dare to face the rules and break them, we are more victorious than ever.

Let us not let gravity or any self-imposed rules get in the way of living every single moment of our lives to the maximum capacity.  Let’s leap off the plane without a parachute and see what it holds – an accelerated meeting with certain death or the only actual moments that we would ever feel truly alive, or both. For what is life, if it’s not for living fully, completely, totally, wantonly, in complete abandon and surrender.

(c) Niconica 2010