There are times when the pain is so overwhelming that it fries our emotional system and we are unable to process new stimuli. When people break our hearts unthinkingly then casually contact us after as through we are ‘on call’ and that nothing of significance has occurred, we might find ourselves at a loss as to how to respond–and we don’t.
In a manner of speaking, we are called to compartmentalise this event which does not compute and carry on with other aspects of our lives. The contradicting actions of others may cause our system to be unable to comprehend what the intent is and we may feel confused as to what the other person intends with the connection.
It would be extremely insensitive of them to presume that becoming friends without so much as breaking a stride from the time that they have rejected us. We might need some time to recover from the pain and assess whether we are comfortable with the notion of remaining friends with someone who has taken us for granted and abused our kindness.
It is not too much to ask of people to be clear about their romantic intentions in order to avoid leading people on inadvertently. If they proceed in a manner which allows us to believe that they fancy us in the same manner, then without as much as blinking switch gears to a lukewarm or even cold treatment, we may understandably feel slighted.
We might want to clarify whether we are on the same page and if they brush us off with fluid evasiveness thinking that it would maintain their innocence in the whole interaction, it would betray their callousness and expose how little they think of us. It should eventually dawn on us that it might not be healthy to pursue a connection with a person who lacks basic human decency–and there are many who merely adapt the appearance of being civilised.
When they pop up casually and resume interactions or communication in a manner which belittles the gravity of their actions, we may find ourselves frozen and our circuits fried enough to not be able to respond in any manner because the mixed signals might be way too much for our brains to handle. Perhaps it means that, for our own wellbeing, we must merely let the matter drop and not bother figuring it out and move forward without hesitation.
(c) Niconica 2013