One of the questions which besiege couples is “How did he propose?” This question is a loaded one which is not merely about asking for the description of the events, it contains a brick load of expectations which are toxic for all concerned–for the person asking as well as the people receiving the query.

How has it happened that lavish histrionic proposals are ranked high on society’s psyche and seems to engender social acceptance and a false sense that the proposal foretells the well being of the forthcoming marriage?

When the proposal is not television worthy, it received a disappointed response from the person who has asked as though he or she were reviewing and ranking the proposal. It would be nice if people asked questions only to find information without expectations.

Proposals which are out of this world and wildly romantic do not underwrite the quality of the relationship or love between the couple. It merely indicates the level of histrionic behavior willing to be undertaken for this given purpose.

Too much exposure to the media has caused us to lose sight of what is important in a relationship and in people. We must be able to respect that while for some people gossip worthy manners of proposing marriage seem to be suitable, there are people who take the road less travelled so to speak.

Somewhere along the way we have lost sight of the purpose if the proposal which is securing the agreement of the one we love to be our legal life partner. It’s not about drama nor theatrics. It’s about something more real–love. And hopefully a good dose of practicality and sense.

(c) Niconica 2014

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