There is no shortage of books which advise us to be a certain way or act a certain way in order to gain the romantic attention of someone we are interested in.  Perhaps, the intentions might be good in the sense that these dating books try to help us get a grasp on situations which confuse us, but on the other hand, who is really to say that there are really rules which govern the rules of attraction?

Perhaps, the only rule which really applies to all would be “Be Yourself.” Everything else is extraneous and perhaps, even circumstantial.  If a certain technique works for a certain couple, it does not automatically mean that it applies to another couple.  There are as many different individuals and personalities as there are love stories of how people got together and ended up together.

Perhaps all the Hollywood movies have trained us to believe that love exists in a certain format and that there are these expectations which come along with how to act while dating in order to secure the object of our affections.  We might also believe that gaining someone’s love is an active thing–that we must actually do something in order to be loved by them.

I think that when we think about it clearly, evidence will show that people fall in and out of love–just because.  There is no real empirical or concrete reason which contributes to the love appearing (or disappearing) and all other situations, actions, and attempts which surround the dating and the relationship would be merely circumstantial or at most contributory without being the real reason.

When we like someone, we just do–simply because we do.  We might get a few adjectives and anecdotes to illustrate why we do but upon closer examination, we would have to admit that we just do and there is no real one element which would spur it.  It is an involuntary process.  How it begins and ceases is also almost out of our control.

We like to affix explanations and logic onto many phenomena in order to comprehend them, but sometimes, when we like someone, it’s just simply arbitrary.  We like them, just because. No further reason or justification required.

(c) Niconica 2013

 

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