Even in the best of times, entering into a rebound relationship is not ideal.  When a previous romantic connection has concluded, it is advisable to enter into ‘Relationship Detox’ where we focus on ourselves, pick up the pieces, and take a breather from being a couple.  This is in our best interests because no matter how affable or justified the break-up is–which doesn’t usually happen–there are wounds which need to heal or issues which need to be addressed so that we do not carry these into the next relationship and expect the other partner to address them.

We must be responsible and allow ourselves a certain period to assess the prior failed relationship and own up to the manner in which we have contributed to the demise even if it may not have been the catalyst for the break-up.  We must also assess whether the expectations we have brought to the relationship have been realistic or based on our own imaginings of what relationships are or how we should be treated without a blunt assessment of our own character traits.  We must also be able to have enough space to rejuvenate our own wants and needs without referencing the other.

It sounds difficult or even impossible.  It may be akin to entering a tunnel and feeling that there is no light to be seen on the other end.  However, time is our ally in these instances and would introduce some perspective to whatever misconceptions or deep hurt we may be experiencing initially.  It is only when the emotional debris have been cleared when we can emerge from the relationship detox phase and entertain the possibility of another relationship–without inadvertently acting against our own best interests.

(c) Niconica 2013

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