Limerence is an involuntary state of mind which results from a romantic attraction to another person combined with an overwhelming, obsessive need to have one’s feelings reciprocated.”  This aforementioned quote comes from Wikipedia.  It is a concept which I have recently come across over a week ago.  It is an interesting phenomenon explaining what can commonly be attributed as a “crush” or “infatuation” without immaturity as a factor, and strangely enough, it can almost be considered a mental condition–and takes the romance out of attraction and “falling in love.”

It is strange to find oneself in the throes of unreciprocated feelings and obsessive preoccupation with a person whom one had been neutral towards before and find a clinical and scientific description of one’s experience and yet despite an intellectual understanding of one’s experience, be unable to extinguish the feelings for the person whom one fancies.  By nature, the involuntary nature of the feelings leaves us helpless, we can endeavour to avoid the person in order to limit or remove the stimuli from further engulfing us in the vicious cycle.

We must find ways to occupy our thoughts and cope with the situation until the unwanted intrusive thoughts of the person is no longer experienced and we are able to find ourselves unaffected by the mention of their name, their presence, or any communique from them.  Meanwhile, we must contain ourselves from badgering the person despite the desperate desire for our feelings to have our feelings reciprocated–or at the very least for our feelings and our presence to be acknowledged.

We must also not fool ourselves with the perennial excuse that we would like to be “just friends” with them because in all reality, we will just be extending the emotional torment and feeding on false hopes that they might change their minds.  Being “just friends” with them will further the addiction towards the person and will only be detrimental to us when the feelings are not reciprocated, which is why we have found ourselves in this undesirable state of mind in the first place.

We must find a way to detach ourselves and move forward–even if it is a step at a time.  It will be the only way where we may save ourselves from further emotional hell and live to love another day–perhaps in a more healthy and mutually reciprocated manner.

(c) Niconica 2013

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