We are, each of us, solely responsible for our own thoughts, words, and deeds. We must be lucid and aware when we are having conversations or interactions with others that we don’t inadvertently project our own issues on them because it is unfair to others and counterproductive to our self development.

We must always be wary that we don’t accuse people of having our own shortcomings and concerns. Often, since we tend to be rather self-absorbed, it’s hard for us to imagine another point of view other than our own but we must rein ourselves in and allow for the possibility of differing perspectives.

Projecting our issues on others is one of the grossest forms of self-deception. Whether it is true or not that others have the same viewpoint and opinions as we do is beside the point when we have already overplayed our own fears and flaws on them.

Self-deception is a form of self-protection and sometimes it may be beneficial but not when it involves another person whom we may be misunderstanding and aside from being a cause for potential conflict, we may be cheating ourselves out of the opportunity to have an authentic connection with them, be it friendship or something more.

It’s also not flattering to exhibit that our grasp of who we are is muddled and our concept of ourselves contaminates others needlessly. We compound the problem by acting on our projections as though they are real, thus injuring the relationship and eventually causing others to feel bewildered, hurt, and even resentful and we are baffled when people start avoiding us.

Instead of indulging in narcissistic self-pity for the results which have manifested in our lives, we must ask ourselves the hard questions and own up to the truth that our underlying thoughts and beliefs have contributed to the situation we find ourselves in and the minute we begin to be honest with ourselves and direct all the “well-meaning” advice and suggestions to ourselves instead of others, we might eventually have a chance of having more insight and improving our conditions.

(c) Niconica 2013

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