It’s easier to paint a picture of our ideal partner than to find one. If we were to find someone who meet someone who meets the criteria, the next question is whether the person would reciprocate our affections thereby indicating that we have in a sense met their inner criteria. Most of the time though, we have to work with what we get, whether it may or may not be what we ideally would prefer in the first place.

As the years pass and we find that more of our peers are partnering up and we seem to be left by the wayside, we may wonder whether there is something we are doing wrong–that perhaps our expectations might have to be adjusted a bit. The high expectations we harbor might not be achievable within this existing space time continuum and this might be perhaps inadvertently setting ourselves up to fail.

We might have all these images of Prince/Princess Charming and classic good looks and if we cling sternly to this image, no one else we meet would measure up–save for celebrities/models perhaps and what are the chances that they would reciprocate our affections and even if they do, what are the chances that they would want to pursue a happily ever after relationship with us unless we happen to be celebrities/models ourselves? Does it then imply that since we have not won the genetic lottery we don’t deserve the chance to be genuinely happy with someone we love and who loves us too?

Sometimes, it might be a good idea to step outside our comfort zone and consider alternative options. To perfectionists/idealists, it might be occur to them that this might be settling for something less than what we prefer however it’s a pragmatic approach to being able to find a serious partner if this is what we really want) to widen the nets in order to accommodate for other possibilities.

Being able to give ourselves the option of allowing for possibilities we would not have imagined is giving ourselves a fair chance of finding the right person for us. We are not perfect and we cannot expect the other person to be and if we are not one of the lucky ones whom Cupid has ministered to, we must concede that perhaps all our criteria may not be met because perhaps such a person may not exist in real life.

Even with matters of the heart, as with creativity, it pays to think outside of the box and allow for life to unfold and reveal itself. If we get too fixated on getting exactly what we want, we might miss out on the one we are meant to be with because short of being able to predict the future, we really don’t know whom we are meant to be with and we must not get in the way of ourselves in this regard, as well as in others.

It cannot be said enough the physical appearances while captivating does not last and should not be the sole or major criteria for selecting a serious romantic partner–whereas possessing a good heart and a kind personality is priceless. There are some people who would not initially consider dating but perhaps it might pay to give them a second glance and allow for possibilities–who knows, we might just surprise ourselves.

(c) Niconica 2013

Advertisements