When we ask the question, can’t help what the answer would be and in the case where we indirectly put the question forward by relaying to a person who has been sending mixed signals that we have feelings for them and receive the I-see-you-as-a-friend-only response, we are faces with either walking away and avoiding the person for the foreseeable future or settling for being in the friend zone.

This is a tricky predicament in the best of circumstances and while we are unable to walk away due to our weakness for the person, the friend zone is definitely not for the faint of heart and is fraught with pain. Walking away and breaking off contact seems like the most logical solution until such a time that we have managed to extinguish any vestige of romantic emotion for the person, then perhaps friendship may be reconsidered.

However, despite how we as humans like to think that we are beings of logic, we often contradict ourselves with our decisions and we find ourselves being in the friend zone by default because we are unable to remove ourselves from the situation and cease all contact and communication with the object of our affections.

Hardly anyone in their right minds would consciously choose the friend zone because this would trigger more hope that the person might change their minds and/or reinforce the romantic feelings which caused the predicament in the first place.

So when we find ourselves paralyzed and unable to move on, we attempt to be friends with the person and pretend that we are perfectly equanimous with their rejection. However, we know that things would never be the same again and we are just waiting for our emotions to release us from this paralysis long enough so that we can extricate ourselves from an unpleasant predicament even if it means giving up the friendship with the person altogether because there are only a few souls strong enough to withstand this experience for an extended period of time.

(c) Niconica 2013

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