Yes, there is such a thing and it does not only strike those who want to play the field but also those who have been hurt before to the point where being in another relationship and finding oneself immensely vulnerable is painful and unthinkable despite efforts towards the contrary.

Everyone wants to love and be loved and commitmentphobic people are not immune to this, they are just unable to commit for whatever reason and it takes a lot of work to address this issue though it starts with the person admitting that they have this condition and honestly acknowledging the symptoms of commitmentphobia as evidenced in their interactions with people.

The next step would involve delving into the deeper reasons for the existence of fear of commitment and this is where it gets tricky because our minds do play tricks on us and as we are geared towards self-preservation, there is every reason why our instinct would be to keep ourselves safe through maintaining the fear of commitment.

We then would have to decide whether we are indeed ready to grapple with this tendency of ours and finally how to go about it. The method for trying to overcome our fear of commitment is not a simple one since we wouldn’t be able to let go of an ingrained habit in one fell swoop, as much as we want to.

There is a reason why we have the commitmentphobia and it is in place as a defensive mechanism and it has been serving its purpose to keep us safe and it is counterintuitive to want to take risks and venture forth into the emotional jungle again at the risk of once again being mauled by unfortunate psychological experiences.

Commitmentphobic people get bad press because of the inveterate players who exist and wreak havoc on the emotional wellbeing of their victims as they selfishly feed their appetites and this is why the other facet of commitmentphobia goes unnoticed–the victims of unfortunate romantic experiences who have built an effective fortress around themselves to avoid experiencing the intense pain they have experienced before while at the same time perhaps missing the rich experiences having a fulfilling emotional life brings because it entails risk and stepping out of the safe and familiar confines of their safe haven.

(c) Niconica 2012

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