We get to a certain point in our lives where we have been emotionally damaged to a certain degree where we become incredibly cautious simply because we do not wish to expose our vulnerabilities. It protects us to a certain extent and then this emotional armour starts becoming counterproductive because we start living a halflife trying to minimise our pain and our losses and we don’t really allow ourselves to risk opening up and seeing what possibilities may be in store.

We are sometimes so used to coping and protecting the remnants of our emotional selves and we start to think that we are okay and we are well. We defend ourselves against additional onslaughts of possibly hurtful situations that we forget that we have not done any inner work with the parts which need healing. We are so invested in guarding our vulnerabilities that we forget to recognise, acknowledge, and face our vulnerabilities and work to overcome them.

There comes a certain point where we get so caught up with the upkeep of our emotional defenses that we start to believe that we don’t need love or emotional connection because we don’t want to ever be in the position to be hurt again. When the opportunity comes along to get to know someone better, we go on auto-pilot and run from the situation thinking that we are better off without such distractions. This denial which springs from our vulnerabilities can be harmful to our growth because we eventually wonder whether we are merely being careful or are we too careful that we lose out on experiences.

There is no easy answer for what to do next or how to recover from past emotional traumas and how to move forward. It cannot be denied that exposing ourselves to more people and experiences increases our chances of being hurt and therefore more damaged than the status quo.

However, without taking a step forward headlong into a reckless path and without moving back into the refuge of our intricate psychological defense mechanisms, now would be the perfect time to contemplate about the nature and presence of our vulnerabilities and look at our denials straight in the eye. Which vulnerability is our vehement and angry denials protecting and why are we acting this way? Is it relevant to our psychological journey at this point in time or is it outdated? This is where as begin.

(c) Niconica 2012

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