Every once so often we fall for the wrong person–the person who appears to be heartless and insensitive perhaps as a result of their psychological make-up intermingling with the fact that they have not been hurt before and do not imagine that they will ever be on the receiving side of hurt and pain.

The fact that they have never been hurt before should not be taken against them for it is enviable to have not been crushed before but it is the fact that they have never been hurt before compounded by their lack of empathy and compassion which contribute to their callousness. It is this special blend of being lucky and a certain lack of humanity which peppers interactions with them as cruel when they are in a lousy mood, callous or insensitive when they are in an indifferent mood, and nice when they are in a good mood and they deign to humor our bids for attention.

There is no excuse for this particular brand of insensitivity except for the blatant fact that it marks them as unfeeling human beings who think that they will not one day get what they dish out. It may not be within this lifetime but it will come and it will catch them unawares and amazed at how life can be so cruel to them.

There is a certain level of decency required within the realms of human interaction and rejecting the romantic advances of a person is part of the game but there is an acceptable way of going about it. Subjecting someone to periodic doses of one’s cruelty and insensitivity is not even remotely acceptable conduct with one’s friends, what more with someone we are considering as a romantic possibility.

Abusing someone’s good nature and goodwill only goes so far. It is better to forego all contact altogether than to maintain contact which includes passive aggressive behaviour, mocking, condescension, contempt, and callousness which might be behaviour one might imagine someone would exhibit to their enemy.

We do not have to be pushovers and accept every romantic overture like a patsy but we do not have to be pricks during interactions, forgetting conveniently that the person in the other end has feelings too.

Heartless people have their wires crossed at the most basic level–thinking that cruel or insensitive words and behaviour are acceptable when they are not on the receiving end of it… And they will continue to do so unless something so irreversibly painfully traumatic occurs that it will jog them to their senses and realise that their lack of decency is not pleasant to deal with at all. Until then, they will continue to rack up karmic demerits which they will have to pay for eventually. Someday, somehow. And it won’t be pretty. But it will be too late to turn back the clock.

(c) Niconica 2012.

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