Archives for the month of: April, 2012

I’m sure there are people who cherish dancing between the lines of vagueness and inconstancy but I do not think I would ever be one of those people who enjoy playful and excruciating uncertainty.

When dealing with people, I prefer for things to be straightforward and clear and yet when things which we don’t like to hear (also known as: rejection) are stated plain as day we also have a problem with it.

Theoretically, we like the terms of engagement and mechanics of the relationship to be put forward as plain as day but when they are, we might regret that we wanted things to be clear.

The idea of clear terms of engagement when we are in the stage of uncertainty and getting to know a potential love interest might be appealing but it sometimes can take the fun and interest out of the interaction; however, the guessing game can get old and we might be left wishing we had known sooner than later what we were up for.

(c) Niconica 2012

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Love should be uncomplicated. Relating with our significant other should be uncomplicated. More often than not, it’s not as simple as we wish it to be, especially during the initial stages when we are trying to find out where we stand with the other.

It almost feels like we’re playing emotional poker where we try to figure out the other person’s hand without revealing our own until we are sure of theirs. This is where it gets complicated–all our defense mechanisms and issues coming into play.

It should be just as simple as expressing interest in each other and discussing where it’s heading instead of prolonging the interaction with tricks, distancing, and evasion just to bounce back again with expressions of interest.

It shouldn’t be about games and delays and confusing and mixed signals because this way it can get convoluted and ultimately, messy. It could be straightforward and romantic instead of drawn out and torturous, but sometimes, it isn’t because one person prefers to play around and is hesitant to even approach anything which might spell commitment.

In this case, it’s best to cut our losses and head for the nearest exit if we’re lucky enough to still have our heart intact. If not, then we better hope that we survive the experience with the least damage possible.

(c) Niconica 2012

There are a lot of visually pleasing or otherwise attractive people in the world but as a general rule, we don’t get attracted to all of them.

In a world where we are all increasingly monetarily and commercially driven, we like the idea where everything can be quantified and it throws us off when we experience something intangible.

Fair enough, it may be biologically dictated, and may be explained to a certain extent but I’d like to think that there is something intangible about how certain people affect us.

We are attracted to whom we are attracted to and it’s just how it is. What is within in our control is what we do about that attraction, whether we want to act on it or just let it be.

We feel different chemistry with different people and attraction need not be limited to one person and while we might find quite a few people attractive, we would find even fewer people whom we are seriously attracted to and the fans of the attraction is usually fanned by contact and interaction with the person, that is unless one is of the stalker persuasion and this would be an altogether different thing entirely.

Back to the topic, we may be out of contact with the person for a bit but generally, unless something pivotal causes the attraction momentum to pause or be diverted, if usually picks up where it leaves off and unless the person seriously dissuades us from going down that path we tend to be drawn like a moth to the flame–entrances without knowing why.

And the story continuous until there is enough reason to stop. Compelling attraction is intangible and powerful so we best keep in mind that it might be dangerous as well. We can acknowledge this and at best try to keep ourselves in check. Besides, without further encouragement from the person, we won’t and shouldn’t be masochistic enough to go down the road a risk rejection or serious emotional damage.

(c) Niconica 2012

What does it say about us when we find that we somehow aren’t as keen for someone as we once were? It has to be said that the petering out of emotions doesn’t easily happen when our romantic gestures are warmly and promptly reciprocated but when this factor is lacking and we find ourselves on the pursuing end, it can happen that the interest wanes at some point and it’s strange to experience this especially when we know intellectually that we are into that person and it’s hard to explain why the tap runs out somehow and even when they make gestures to reach out, it can feel that it’s too little to late or just simply less appealing as we used to find it.

It may be that the cat and mouse game has simply run it’s course or perhaps we get exhausted of all the “is it or isn’t it” mind games and an off-switch gets triggered within us and we feel detached towards someone whom we used to avidly fancy. This tipping point could be the result of many factors such as the feeling that the person we desire is pushing us away for a significant period of time and it’s just gotten to a point where we “get the point” already or it could be the previously stated reason plus personal problems, issues, illness, circumstances, and life events which exacerbate the situation and we feel lukewarm, detached, and/or indifferent towards the person.

It’s a strange feeling because we are used to feeling so strongly about the person and receiving any form of correspondence from them would elicit an immediate and enthusiastic response from us, but when we are in a detached state, we couldn’t care less or can’t be bothered that they have contacted us and the same gestures which we would have warmly received before seem rather pale and uninteresting.

There is a sense of the hangover from the romantic interest but it feels less real somehow and there would be moments that some vestige of interest or nostalgia would creep in and we would make the requisite reaching out towards the person but somehow it is just not the same. It’s like trying to reheat food in a microwave, the quality of the food is affected somehow.

In our minds we know we like the person but it seems that there is some sort of disconnect or disparity presence with how we feel and we might eventually reconcile it somehow. We might realise that the romantic detachment was merely a phase or we might realise that it’s for good. The jury is still out on that. Time will tell.

(c) Niconica 2012

Downton Abbey does not disappoint with an even more sizzling and complex season Two which keeps us on the edge of our seats in avid anticipation of the third season.

The characters are well-defined and have each ripened gracefully on the screen as the drama unfolds. Kudos to the creator and to the writers of the series for presenting such a superd period drama series–as well as the stars if the series who have brought life to the characters.

Downton Abbey is set in the 1910s around the time of the First World War. It’s an era which is not typically portrayed on tv series and thus it has been enjoyable to see this period tackled creatively and tastefully by the Downton Abbey.

Can’t wait for the next season!

(c) Niconica 2012

Rachel Bilson rocks as Dr. Zoe Hart in the tv series Hart of Dixie. In addition to being poignant and funny, there’s a feel good factor to the series which seems to be shot on a set which seems to resemble the Gilmore Girls set.

The characters are quirky and lovable and the story oozes a certain wholesome and adorable small town feel which takes us back to the ‘good old days’ which exist in our psyches (and perhaps not in reality). It’s a feel-good tale with a Sourhern charm which transports us into the world of Dr. Zoe Hart as she navigates living in Bluebell, Alabama.

A lovely and enjoyable show indeed.

(c) Niconica 2012

I had my reservations when I hears about the premise of the tv series Drop Dead Diva but watching it dispelled my hesitations. It is entertaining with drama, comedy, and romance all in one easy to watch format.

The fun frivolity (and I mean this in a good way) balances out with the gravity and relevance of the legal cases. Another way of looking at it is that the fashion, style, and comedy lightens the legal tv series genre without taking anything away from the integrity of ‘lawyer shows.’

It is indeed a refreshing and fashionable take on ‘lawyer shows’ and is very addictive to watch with interesting characters. Thumbs-up!

(c) Niconica 2012

When we hear that the people begging for alms at every street corner are pawns of crime syndicates who use these unfortunate souls to earn money, whether it be true or urban legend, it gives us pause whenever a person (whether hungry child or adults) begs for alms or sells garlands of sampaguita on the street. We are unsure whether the alma we really helping them or further perpetuating their enslavement to the syndicate they might be part of. Furthermore, we are torn because we wonder whether giving them a few coins would encourage them to be lazy and reinforce begging as a way of life; yet at the same time, compassion moves us to want to help them.

We can not be sure what their stories or motivations are. As far as we know, it’s safer to not get mixed up in such messy situations. Every time a street kid/person comes by to sell me garlands of flowers or beg, I am torn between turning her away and giving a few coins. I eventually stopped giving coins because they can easily go and buy addictive substances like cigarettes, rugby (glue), alcohol or whatnot. For a while, I just tried to ignore them and turn them away whenever they came by to beg and it was not an emotionally pleasant experience and every stoplight refreshed the experience.

I finally decided I cannot live with feeling helpless every time a street person comes by for ams and brought some snack food (biscuits, chips, etc.) to place in the car so when someone comes knocking on my car window, they don’t leave empty handed. And it has been a satisfying experiences to a least share some food with them somehow in my own little way.

Feel free to give it a try. Perhaps we might not solve poverty
in one fell swoop but at least somehow we are doing our part in sharing our blessings with people in need.

(c) Niconica 2012

There is much talk about going green and being eco-friendly in the context of recycling and as much as people are aware that it’s ‘good’ to go green, this campaign talks about a more distant future and lacks the immediacy which would appeal to more myopic and self-focused beings such as ourselves.

We complain about the air being polluted and epidemics going around–even if it is as common place as the cold or the flu, yet we continue to dispose of our waste unthinkingly, knowing that the lower echelons of society would be going through the trash bins and exposing themselves to the rotting food and bacteria just to salvage some recyclables (bottles, plastics, paper) which they can sell.

We are inconsiderate of what happens to our rubbish after it has been removed from our premises and we think that it would not affect us in any solid way except for perhaps some flooding which happens every few weeks or months due to the clogged sewers and yet we have become so immune to this that we don’t think of it as our problem or even so, it’s always the responsibility if the city government.

It is precisely this sort of thinking which escalates the problem and it manifests more concretely as disease which we complain about should our loved ones especially our children get sick from contagious viruses even as ubiquitous as the common cold or flu.

If we just took a few minutes to think about it and think back to the people we see around the neighbourhood or the city scouring the rubbish for what items they can sell for a pittance, disregarding the risk to their health… We can further realise that these people wander around quite a bit and do come in contact with many people on the street in many parts of the Metro and whatever bacteria or virus they might have come across can easily be transmitted to the commuters and pedestrians who may happen to be neighbours or relatives with people we come across daily or even just randomly in malls and this, ladies and gentlemen, is how disease spreads and affects us.

Granted, it may not be the Ebola virus but anyone who has had their schedules altered or their body debilitated even for a few days by the common sore throat, flu or cold will agree that it is not a pleasant experience, adding to the fact that it is even more unpleasant to watch our housemates or family catch these common illnesses after we do.

It’s not to say that vitamin C and B-complex will not help boost our immune systems, but when we are more responsible with disposing our rubbish and recyclables, we create less causes for disease to spread. We cannot prevent people from going through the rubbish because poverty is quite rampant here and the few pesos they get from selling the bottles, plastic, or paper might mean the survival of their families.

What we can do is to rinse out used sardine/tuna/canned goods cans, plastic containers, and bottles, let them dry on our dish racks and then place them in a designates big black (or whatever coloured) garbage bag together with empty medicine bottles, boxes, paperbags, paper leaflets, newspapers which can be recycled too and give it to people in the neighbourhood who would benefit from selling them.

It can be as simple as selling the recyclables at the local junk shop, or of we are feeling more altruistic, I’m sure we know people in the neighbourhood who would be willing to take the clean recyclables and sell them.

We need not be insensitive to the others while we help them. It is not considerate to think that they will be selling it so it’s their responsibility to deal with the almost decayed food or unhygienic possibly recyclable garbage after they have been unthinkingly mixed with biodegradables since they would be accessing the rubbish long after the waste items are fresh.

They are fellow human beings too and deserve our consideration, but if this line of reasoning does not appeal to our more self-centered fellow human beings, then the health scare and possible diseases to be communicated should be enough reason for everyone to hygienically recycle and separate their recyclables from the biodegradables.

Properly cleaning, drying, separating, and disposing recyclable materials is in your best self-interest. (Benefitting others by preventing the spread of disease is a good bonus/motivation). Start doing it now–today.

(c) Niconica 2012