When we start off a relationship all starry-eyed, we would like to think that there would be no such thing us a breaking point. However, as with anything in life–the end is embedded in the beginning because nothing lasts forever.

It’s just a matter of whether the end would be now or later, good or bad, simple or complicated, and so forth. It can be said that when we start the conflict stage of our relationship that if we don’t handle it well, it would eventually reach the breaking point and it would be hard to turn back because we can’t unsay things which have been said or undo things which have been done.

We don’t usually plan on matters escalating to this point and it’s often a surprise to us when it gets there. Of course, a third person might be able to offer a better perspective and if only we had a nickel for every time a friend confides in us that they saw it coming a mile ahead. When we are the ones involved, we usually never see it coming.

By the time we get to the breaking point of the relationship, it’s might be too late to neutralise it especially when it creeps up on us. Of course, we will still attempt to either neutralise it or escalate the conflict so that we ‘win’ but both approaches don’t result in favourable outcomes simply because of the stage the situation is in–too many things have been said or done and too many things have happened for it to be any other way and thus too much damage has been done for it to be overlooked.

Trust often has been broken and it’s hard to pick up the pieces… It’s hard to continue and think that the person would not fall into the same pattern of behaviour which they have displayed which is a manifestation of who they really are in the course of a relationship. It’s almost too much to ask a person to change completely and not be who they are just for the sake on making things okay.

If we are lucky, we get to salvage some form of friendship or civility when we get to the breaking point. Most of the time though, we are just shattered and nothing can be redeemed from the aftermath of the relationship and it’s just how it is and we must learn to cope, heal, and move on and live to love another day, hopefully, without repeating the same mistakes.

(c) Niconica 2012

Advertisements