Let’s admit it, as we walk down further on the road of life and accrue more experience, we come across our fair share of characters and there would at least be a handful of these which are comprised by cruel people. Cruel people, and their victims, would oftentimes claim that they are not cruel per se but they are just misunderstood.

The defense usually goes like this, “I/He/She/It am/is not cruel, it is simply what I did that is cruel.”  What a way to deflect and blame it on something else. It has often been the case that when the act is proven by public consensus to be cruel and there is no way out that the person committing the cruelty admits to the cruelty of the act, but detaches from it by maintaining their pure white innocence.

It does not take an expert psychiatrist to figure out that there is something wrong with the disconnect in how they think and how illogical they are–or perhaps they are not illogical but just expert at deception to both others and themselves, and this is how they continue their cruel existence, inflicting their manipulative and disturbing presence upon others, while all the same time maintaining a self-image that they are right or even worst, that they had no choice but to perpetrate the psychological/physical/emotional/verbal cruelty upon others.

It is not about suddenly becoming an agreeable doormat or being as meek as a lamb, but it’s about being able to get one’s point of view across without causing harm to others.  There is a way to communicate and exist in the world that is not at the expense of others’ sanity and well-being and this possibility has clearly not been conveyed or accepted by them. The zero-sum game where one wins and the other loses is a thing of the past and there is such a thing as a win-win situation, if only these people could open their eyes to it.

However, if they are already adults, it might be a bit too late or at least very difficult to rectify this cruelty–short of lobotomy.  Somewhere along their personal histories was someone who was very cruel to them as well and this produced wounds which reached far into the future with far-reaching consequences, damaging these people enough so that they themselves become the monsters which once victimized them, as much as they don’t want to admit it.

It is in these series of complex cause and effects that it can be claimed that cruelty is contagious to a certain extent–albeit only with people who have weak emotional immune systems.  The cruel treatment in their childhoods or formative years resulted in a scar or trauma so deep that the person never recovers from it and spends many years in the future reacting to the trauma and making other people pay for their pain.

This being said, people who stronger and more resilient immune systems, even after being afflicted by cruelty in their vulnerable years, do not turn out to be the monsters who harmed them and prevail to be better, wiser, and more understanding people.

Therefore, it’s not really an excuse when people blame their past experiences or people for how they turned out to be, you don’t blame the monsters for turning you into a monster–you have turned into a monster because you have allowed them to get the better of you–more to the point, they got the best of you.

There are people who have been through even worst and have not turned out to be the equally or more cruel than the people who have preyed on them, it is not because they have some magical capability–they are as human as you or i–it is because they choose to remain human and not turn into an unspeakably horrid human being.

How about you? What do you choose?

(c) Niconica 2011*

*does not apply to image/s

Advertisements