Archives for the month of: November, 2011

If only endings could be this perfunctory as having the “Game over” text flash on the screen, then it’s restart or turn off the game device–with the option of playing again another day.  Unfortunately, endings cannot be this ‘pleasant’ since there is usually a distinct sense of loss experienced by one or both of the people about to part.

Letting go would often be the prescribed antidote to break-ups or other emotional endings and goodbyes–if only it were that easy.  If only there was such a thing as a “Letting Go” ointment which is available…

Imagine this:

 “Just broke up?

Apply ointment 3 times a day until all symptoms disappear.  

For cool-offs or less intense breaks, apply once a day or upon own discretion until pain disappears.”  

Unfortunately, it doesn’t work that way and we have to do it the good old-fashioned way… We have to go through it day by day and gradually learn to let go and detach from the situation/person… Until such a day that  a miracle cure or a magic antidote appears.

(c) Niconica 2011*

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So there’s one book that I can’t wait to purchase it (in Kindle edition no doubt) as soon as it’s available. It’s Dolores Cannon’s latest book “The Convoluted Universe Part Four” and it’s coming out in December. I thought it was supposed to come out this month but upon checking Amazon, it says that it’ll come out next month on Christmas Day nonetheless, so it’s something to look forward to. I like the spiral artwork on the book cover too.  Can’t wait! I’m practically bobbing up and down here in anticipation.

I’ve enjoyed reading many of Cannon’s books and it’s something which I feel is quite fascinating. Hypnosis and past life regression are quite interesting and really broadens the mind with what could be possible.  Reincarnation is another subject which sparks my interest and along those lines, I enjoy reading books by Dr. Brian Weiss and Sylvia Browne too, among others.

(c) Niconica 2011*

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Oh, joy! Finally, one of the books I had been long wanting to read is now available in Kindle edition.  There’s something about the immediacy of being able to “Buy with 1-click” so to speak on which makes it more preferable to ordering online and waiting for the books be sent from the US to the Philippines.

I used to think that I would prefer books on paper so much that were the costs of sending or acquiring the books comparable that I would go for the traditional books and patiently wait for the books to get to Manila.

The only way that the shipping of the books would be comparable though would be that the freight option be to send it over surface mail or to ask someone to bring it home to Manila–and this is when we know friends or relatives whom who would want to trouble with carrying what could be bulky purchases to add-on to their baggage weight when they either come back to Manila or visit Manila.  (This would still be an option for the books which are not available in Kindle edition or books which are filled with images/technical texts which would lend themselves better to the traditional ink and paper book format.)

Considering all these options, it seems that the convenience of purchasing a Kindle edition with one-click and being able to read it within seconds without the extra hassle of waiting and/or arranging for sending the books to Manila wins out especially when the book is more obscure in terms of topic and would likely not be available in local bookstores–besides the fact that purchasing with 1-click appeals to impulse purchases.

For a book addict like myself, impulse purchases do happen more often than not.  I have to admit that I’m acclimatizing to the Kindle revolution so to speak and enjoying the benefits of having many–but not all, yet–of the books at Amazon possibly available at my fingertips should I choose to purchase them.

In saying that, I am still hoping that more books would be available in Kindle edition–and if any publishers are reading this, I hope that they do take note of it.  It would an added bonus and appreciated of there would be an option where discounts or bargain rates would apply to heavy readers/book addicts since the impulse buys do creep up to a certain amount.

I’m sure that there are a lot of us kindred spirits all over the world who love, adore, and are addicted to books who would appreciate a wider selection of books available to whet our appetites and/or addictions.

(c) Niconica 2011*

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Ages ago, I wrote a post stating that I preferred actual books compared to e-books… And this fact still remains to be true. However, considering the fact that book availability is limited here in Manila and that the selection of books in Amazon is pretty comprehensive, purchasing the Kindle edition seems like a good option.

Within seconds, we are able to receive the Kindle edition in our chosen Kindle reader device, whether it be an iPhone, an iPad, a PC or an android device, and start getting into it without further ado.

Having said that, nothing beats the feel of actual pages and the smell of the crisp paper, but compared to waiting a sizable amount of time or spending way more to have the actual books shipped halfway around the world to Manila, I’m pretty happy that Amazon came up with the Kindle edition of the books.

I would actually have purchased more Kindle e-books if only more books were available in Kindle edition.  I have to note to my disappointment that quite of the few books which I have wanted to purchase were not available in Kindle edition.

They are now in my Amazon Wish List but I have not been too inclined to order them yet since, I have found to my surprise, that the speed and the convenience weighs more than my love of handling the printed pages of an actual book.

I almost wish there was a convenient button to click to request for the Kindle edition of the books which I’ve been hoping to purchase.  It’s strange though that with quite a few of the books, the Kindle edition is more pricey than the discounted paperback price, which doesn’t make sense.

Given the fact that there is no cost for the materials for printing and paper, shouldn’t the electronic Kindle edition always be cheaper than the printed paperbacks?

Nonetheless, it seems that my collection of Kindle books will be increasing to a quantity which hopefully will not rival my actual printed books which are practically spilling out of my bookshelves.

(c) Niconica 2011*

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** this is not a paid review

One of the better dating books around, ladies. Jeff Mac steps up and lifts the curtain of secrecy and shows us what lies behind baffling male speech and behavior.  It turns out that it’s not all that complicated and pretty hilarious the way Jeff Mac writes it.

I couldn’t put the book down–it was informative, funny, and easy to read.  This is a must-read for everyone who ever wondered, “What is he thinking?” and/or “Why is he doing that?”

Replete with common sense, truisms, and hilarious insight, Manslations should be required reading for everyone who ever wants to understand men.

Two thumbs-up: required reading for Love101!

(c) Niconica 2011*

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When any relationship is built, it is important–and necessary–that it be built on solid ground. This entails being clear on what the relationship is and where it is heading and being able to communicate it to the other person unambiguously.

If one or the other party is not on the same page as to what the relationship is and where it is heading, then it cannot be considered that the relationship is on solid ground… and yet many a relationship has been built on such precarious premises.

So let’s back up a bit and examine whether it is worth proceeding with the pseudo-relationship and ask ourselves whether we really deserve to be in such a position.  It is imperative that before any lasting foundation is built–metaphorically or otherwise–that we check for solid ground, without which it might be wise to seek another more conducive site to build our lives and dreams on.

(c) Niconica 2011*

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‘Click.’ Infatuation often comes in the blink of an eye, and is more often than not coupled with temporary emotional blindness. When this happens, sound judgement seems to go out the window.

Even while logic identifies a lot of factors which would make the person unacceptable as a serious romantic partner, the draw towards the person remains especially when there is an unexplainable and undeniable chemistry.

(c) Niconica 2011*

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There comes a point in any relationship situation where it’s more painful to continue… where the status quo feels like a quicksand and staying in it would just cause more damage.  So it’s either we get from quicksand to higher ground or leave the whole enterprise entirely–for our own good.

Ambiguous situations cannot continue indefinitely without causing damage to one or both parties and there comes a time where clarity is called for.  The situation can only go so far when the situation is murky, and beyond that it can even become destructive like a ticking time bomb… a disaster waiting to happen.

How do we neutralize the ticking time bomb? If we are able and ready to discuss the situation openly with the other party in the relationship, there might be some resolution–though not always to the end that we would like because the mere fact an ambiguous relationship has gone on that long–it indicates that the other party is not ready or does not want to move the relationship further.

The other way is to carefully extract ourselves from the situation by distancing ourselves from the other person.  This is hard to do but this sometimes can be the only way that we get out of the situation alive–even if not without injuries or damage of some sort.

Think about it.

(c) Niconica 2011*

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In a relationship, sometimes it’s not so much the actual presence or absence of the person or the frequency of interaction as much as the feeling of safety where it is understood that one won’t be rejected or abandoned.

The fear of rejection or abandonment can be so primal and embedded that to admit it would make one unbearably vulnerable that despite its relevance to the dialogue, it would be the last thing ever to be discusses or revealed.

This factor then makes the situation more complex in that the other person involved is not aware of the crucial element to be considered and would in effect be feeling rather confused about the dynamic of the situation.

When a person in the relationship is acting out, before anything else, it needs to be established that the relationship is a safe place where issues can be brought up and discussed and the concerns would be treated seriously without the other party leaving or rejecting the other.

Usually a safe zone is established by making a commitment to the other and while ultimately there are no guarantees, the context of the commitment creates a safety net for both people to interact… More so than if there was no agreed upon commitment or relationship.

So in undefined or “it’s complicated” pseudo-relationships, things tend to get messy precisely because of the lack of the safety net which a mutually committed relationship provides.

This then entails that one or both partners must constantly watch out for themselves because any moment could be the last moment in the relationship.

And as time passes and the situation gets more serious and/or convoluted, the hidden vulnerabilities surface and cause more tension without being able to be addressed properly without entwining serious risks in the pseudo-relationship.

Talk about being caught between a rock and a hard place.

(c) Niconica 2011*

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Why is “Goodbye” referred to as “good” when there are times when there is nothing good about a goodbye? As much as we don’t want to, sometimes, it is time for it, and when the time is right, we just know it.

Sometimes a complicated situation has dragged on long enough and we value our sanity too much to let it continue and it’s time to pull the plug on it.  The question is how to do it.

Simply because the situation is undefined and complicated, it’s not as simple as formally bidding farewell.  So, we could either say something stupid, pick a fight to ruin situation or we could gradually tiptoe out the room (or interaction) and gradually disappearing never to be heard from again.

Both ways don’t seem to be the best way to go about it, it certainly doesn’t sound like what a mature adult would do. The first way is downright immature and damaging and the second way reeks of escapism, but is probably more common because it probably seems the most unobtrusive and seems the easiest way out in a manner of speaking.

Which goes back to the discussion of the formal goodbye which might come off too presumptuous or provoke many defense mechanisms in one or both of the people in the conversation.

Down to the heart of the matter, there is no easy way to say goodbye and we can only hope that hurt can be minimized as much as possible where both parties are involved.

It cannot be assumed that the damage will only be incurred by the person being ‘left’ so to speak because it could be possible that the person being ‘left’ has said or done many things to provoke the walking away of the other person for their own sake.

It can be the case that the pain would be borne by the person who is walking away since perhaps the person does not want to leave but knows that it is time to be moving on because the situation is not going anywhere and further engaging in it would only lead to further deteriorating the emotional climate.

To rephrase, goodbyes are difficult but there are situations when it is undeniable that it is necessary, relevant, and/or the best course of action considering all the factors involved.

Nothing is permanent and everything has an expiration date, some relationships/connections/friendships/whatever just have a use-by date sooner than others.

(c) Niconica 2011*

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