There’s a relationship known as the pursuer-distancer dynamic where one partner does the chasing and the other one eludes the chaser but just enough to keep the relationship going.  It is said that the roles are fairly set.  In such cases, it can be said that the distancer can be the commitment-phobe.

However in the case of two commitment-phobes in a dysfunctional dynamic, that the roles of pursuer-distancer flips around automatically depending on the circumstances. When one decides to pursue, the other distances themselves and vice versa, and it can be a never-ending game of cat and mouse.

Until the fear of commitment is resolved in both parties, it can continue indefinitely much to the frustration and chagrin of one or both parties and one person usually does end up with the shorter end of the stick–the one who cares more.

(c) Niconica 2011*

*does not apply to image/s

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