Archives for the month of: March, 2011

It’s been pretty full on these past few days so I haven’t been able to blog as much as I would have wanted to. Topic # 85 brought to us by via is: How do you recover lost trust? In a person in an idea? with the bonus questions of: If someone lets you down or betrays you, how do you learn to forgive? And can you possibly learn to trust them again? Why or why not?

Broken Trust

What hefty topic, but the quick answer to the question “How do you recover lost trust?” is: Very rarely. Trust once lost is irretrievable, it can be replaced by a facsimile of what it once was–which is really a counterfeit echo of the real deal–which really doesn’t count and doesn’t hold up properly with the passage of time.

In the rare cases where the person really takes the effort to make amends and endeavors to prove the age-old adage “Future behavior is determined by past behavior” to be wrong… Perhaps baby steps can be taken and a lot of time has to pass and a lot of tests have to be passed before it gets patched up to a semblance of what it once was but it will never again be the same… which is probably why we should all think twice before breaking someone’s trust in us.

(c) Niconica 2011*

*does not apply to image/s









































(c) Niconica 2011*

*does not include the image/s

I did not see this version of “The Adjustment Bureau poster.  I saw a poster that looks more like this one:

Now, with this second movie poster – tell me it doesn’t give one the thoughts, “Oh, it’s another Matt Damon suspense thriller …”  a la The Bourne Identity.” It was because of the jump to this conclusion that I was more that a little hesitant to watch the movie, but it just so happened that I had such a trying week that I badly needed to decompress via watching a movie–any movie–and “The Adjustment Bureau” seemed to be the more acceptable option and boy was I glad I watched it.

Now in saying all this, I believe that if I had come upon the black and white poster with Matt Damon and Emily Blunt, I would have been more compelled to watch it… Furthermore, I feel that the first poster does the plot more justice than the “running around” poster which is far too mainstream.

I quickly scanned the reviews before watching it and have seen it categorized as a science fiction love story and I do agree that it could fall into that category. I would probably add in the world surreal into the description.  A lot of doorways abruptly leading to unexpected places possesses a very surreal quality to me. However, these labels are just the trappings, and when it comes down to content, it is a lovely discourse and an interesting take on three quintessential dilemmas:

Romance vs. Career

Happiness vs. Success

Fate vs. Free Will

Need I say more?


(c) Niconica 2011*

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It’s the convening of four very talented stars of the big screen: the inimitable Reese Witherspoon, the endearing Paul Rudd, the charming Owen Wilson, and the venerable Jack Nicholson. The writer and director James L. Brooks deserves both the credit for picking just the right people for the roles of How Do You Know and the credit for conceiving the unique plot.

Brooks shares that the premise of the story is two people who meet during the worst day of their lives, and together with the talented cast, they pull it off with charm, wit, subtlety, comedy, and grace. It surprises me that it scored only 5.3/10 on IMDb. I guess it goes to show that IMDb doesn’t always get it right.

Just because it’s not tragic, epic, or dramatic, it doesn’t mean that it is less credible and enjoyable as a movie.  We do not always need gravitas, novelty, and special effects. Sometimes a feel good movie which is both funny and poignant and speaks about the subtleties of the heart and falling in love is just what we need.  And this movie delivers!

(c) Niconica 2011*

*does not apply to images

It takes me time to catch on to the latest TV shows mostly because I seems that at times I have the tendency to resist trying new things but recently, due to some mixture of boredom and ill health, I decided to watch Dexter for the first time.

I’ve watched the first few episodes so far and even though I had my reservations about the premise of a serial killer as a protagonist which was why I was hesitant about the idea of giving the Dexter series a try for years, I am pleased to say that this show has won me over.

Of course, it is when I start to ask deeper questions as to why it has won me over that it gets trickier. It is, after all, a show filled with murder and violence, severed limbs, bloodied corpses and such and I wonder how it reflects upon me as a person.

As much as we do not condone violence in society and the as much as the  idea of teaching of exposing children is unappealing to us, humans have a certain fascination for violence which accounts for the existence of the Crime Channel and many popular criminal mystery TV series.

The need to explore and/or give voice to our darker side vicariously is coupled by the multifaceted personality of Dexter who channels his sociopathic personality towards a sort of covert vigilantism which satisfies the human desire for revenge as well as the tendency to want to see “bad guys” get punished.

It’s not a pretty facet of the human psyche–definitely not something we’d wrap up in a bow and put under the Christmas tree but I have to give the creators of Dexter credit for giving an interesting twist to the personal struggles of a complex serial killer without coming off as a one-dimensional character –and to the crime genre in general.

You’ve got a new fan. Thumbs up!

(c) Niconica 2011*

*does not apply to image/s

So, we’ve finally gotten over ourselves (or perhaps someone else) and reckon that it’s time to look for love. Perhaps, we’ve finally gotten our ducks in a row or got sick of waiting for our ducks to get in a row–or something of the sort.  The point is, we’re sick and tired of waiting around for love, and finally we announce our intent to the universe, “I’m now ready for love!”

The Universe will respond–oh yes it will.  And it will tell us, “Seek and you shall find.” (Or some sort of similar nonsense.) And we start looking–high and low, near and far, here and there… And eventually, we find out that… Love hides in the strangest places!  Oh, yes it does. It will be unexpectedly expected or expectedly unexpected. Nevertheless, it will surprise us… sometimes, we don’t realize it until we are so far in to even get out safely.

(c) Niconica 2011*

*does not apply to image/s

What is popularly defined as “love” can be the authentic version or “infatuation” the bootleg version of it.  Unfortunately, at the onset, it is hard to tell which is which is which… and as with most things, the passage of time serves to separate the true from the false… with a lot of casualties on the wayside.

Romantic love, with the above consideration, is both a delight and a delusion, with only time to serve as both its arbiter and judge.  It is fortunate that, as much as we would like to believe, things do not happen in one fell swoop.  As the events progress, we get little hints and clues of the symptoms of the nature of the relationship, and we can take action accordingly.

It is hardly this simple though since when we find ourselves to far into the delights or the delusions of “love” to take action… whether it is through actual emotional blindness or contrived blindness so that we would be able to cling to the relationship or the object of our affections for one more day… until the one more day stretched indefinitely and goes past the point of no return.

(c) Niconica 2011*

*does not apply to image/s

While I proffer my heartfelt congratulations to happily married couples, I cannot help but feel that they are the exception rather than the norm. I’ve stumbled across various unhappily married couples who bemoan their current state of matrimony as though they had not entered it willingly while in full possession of their wits.

Upon further inquiry and through the course of a few years, I have stumbled across various reasons–ranging from strange to downright sad–which they have claimed to have for entering wedlock. As these are all reasons stated after the fact, one cannot really attest or fully put faith in the veracity of their claims–except for the fact that they believe it to be so presently.

Considering the fact that mere humans like us tend to be inconsistent beings and it would not be hard to imagine that these reasons would not have even be mentioned prior to the wedding–had we possessed a time machine to travel back and interview them on that day. However, if it applies, may these various “reasons” for marrying someone stand as beacon of caution and/or awareness for others.

1. Money, Wealth, Riches, Status, Fame

This is often denied but secretly admitted, stated or viewed as the easiest way out or up the social ladder or at the very least the “material” ladder.

Money, money, money!

It can only then be hoped that the “star” one has hitched one’s wagon to is indeed a high flyer and won’t let us down in any way, shape, or form when circumstances, feelings, or their minds change.

2. Time (Or Lack Thereof) aka the Expiration Date Panic Syndrome

Tick tock… tick tock…This also encompasses the “Biological Clock Panic” which used to only apply to women, but as many things are ceasing to be the sole domain of only one gender (except perhaps getting pregnant), this internal clock alarm seems to apply to both men and women who for whatever reason feel that time is running out.

Further justified or unjustified reasons as to why people may feel this way would undoubtedly be rich fodder for shrinks and counsellors and probably might be worth writing another blog post about…

However, we shall not go into detail here except to mention that once the internal “time bomb” starts ticking signaling the real or imagined “used by” date…It propels many people to jump unto the marriage bandwagon in a flurry unmatched by people fleeing a burning building.

3. Lust

Let’s get real here… there’s something about physical appearances and magnetic attraction which really entices and captures us until we are so intoxicated that we mistake it all for another four letter word which starts with L… and this leads us to believe that what we have will last forever.

Well-chiseled faces and a beautifully sculpted bodies certainly have undeniable appeal… Now add those with a dash of pheromones and we have a lethal cocktail which may impede our better judgements from seeing the light.

There’s something to be said about good chemistry but there needs to be something more substantial underneath all the physical compatibility for a marriage to work out.

4. Escape or The Emergency Exit Syndrome

It is also not uncommon that the matrimonial bandwagon serves as an emergency exit by someone who is looking to leave a perceived or real undesirable social, psychological, physical, or emotional situation.

The marriage partner is then seen as the savior, solution or “knight in shining armor”–and it’s all well and good, if this perception is indeed founded on reality… However in some instances, these partnerships fall apart at the seams when the harsh light of reality dawns upon the couples.

5. Broken Heart aka On the Rebound

After a relationship gone wrong, acquiring another relationship on the rebound is a bad idea… however, there are some people who go the extra length to make an even bigger mistake by getting married to someone else who is either available or “loves them more” or who simply proposed.  It cannot be said too many times that getting married to escape heartbreak is a recipe for disaster in more ways than one.

6. Desperation

Another unhealthy reason for getting married is desperation: the feeling that one has “missed the bus” and would hop on to the next bus or mode of transportation which comes along. In other words, one simply accepts the next offer of marriage which comes along because one does not want to be alone in any way, shape, or form.

7. Social or Familial Pressure

In some societies or families, more than others, adults need to be married otherwise, it is perceived that there is something wrong with them. This then leads a lot of people who are not suitable to be married psychologically, mentally, or emotionally or people who are not ready to be married to hop aboard the marriage express simply to fit in or to show that there is nothing wrong with them–that someone is willing to marry them.  Hindsight would always say that succumbing to social/familial/peer pressure is more trouble than it’s worth further down the line. Get a clue.

8. Boredom and Loneliness

Sometimes, nothing is happening in one’s life and one is so bored and/or lonely that one wants to “shake things up.” Instead of getting a new hobby or pet or relationship, one decides to get into a permanent legal entanglement by acquiring a new husband/wife. Unless one is really lucky and manages to circumvent the probable odds of finding the perfect marriage partner through this method, the harsh light of time soon will show that planning a road trip with friends or taking a vacation somewhere might have been a better solution with coping with boredom and/or loneliness.

9. Settling/Resignation/Giving Up

Sometimes one gets tired of waiting or believing that soul mates exist and that their one true love is just around the corner so one gives up the search/fight and just resigns themselves to the next available warm body who offers a permanent attachment. This is of course another method of gambling one’s life away, and one can only hope that resigning to fate and taking the chance would pay off and lead to some form or semblance of happiness.  Some people do really luck out, but of course, they are more the exception than the rule.

10. Fear of the Unknown

Facing life alone indefinitely or being alone indefinitely scares people as though the state of single blessedness is akin to going into the woods alone and not knowing what one will encounter… after all, when we look around, most people who are vocal about getting married and how lovely it is to get married, are people who have gone down that predictable road whether the results have been preferable or not. Facing life as a single person becomes to much to bear that one gets gripped by the fear and dials it up as time passes.  This is when some people lower their standards and expectations and decide that someone–anyone, really–would do.  Whether it is the right decision, time can only tell.

However it has to be said that marriage is so important that it can make or break a person. Getting married or doing things for the wrong reasons seldom results in true happiness.

(c) Niconica 2011*

* does not apply to all the images

It’s not as simple anymore to answer the question: Do you believe in fate or free will?






It might be because when I was younger I believed very strongly in free will, but as experiences and setbacks have piled up through the years, I started leaning slightly more towards fate.

Fate or "Ming" in Chinese


It might perhaps be a coping mechanism of sorts–to justify the bad thiings that have happened by attributing it to fate as opposed to accepting the other possibility which is that we have made the wrong decisions and ended up stuck with the consequences.

The Roll of the Dice

It might also be that we have learned the hard way that free will can only go so far… We may want something or someone with all our being but it doesn’t mean that we will be able to achieve or get them.

It might also mean that we are much weaker, passive or exhausted, and we rage and raise our fists against life even less and are content to be swept along by the tides of destiny (or fate, whatever we choose to call it).

Expect the Unexpected

So, I guess the answer is both–depending on which life stage I was in. And who knows which one it’ll be in the coming years.

(c) Niconica 2011*

*does not apply to image/s

2nd Month with Postaweek 2011

It was quite daunting when I first signed up for PostaWeek2011.  I wasn’t sure whether I was up for it, but I’m glad that I did – and very thankful to the folks at The Daily Post @ for the daily support and prompts which they provide. I thought that I would have fun out of ideas to blog about soon enough… however, on the contrary, it seems that the more I write, the more I find that I have subjects to write about.

So far, so good.

So, I would say now, “So far, so good.”  I still would like to be able to participate in the weekly photo blogging challenge… but we’ll see how that goes. I’ve introduced my monthly Top 10 Beautiful People post which I’m quite enjoying. I’ve also introduced the Love 101 series which I’m very excited about.  So, who knows what would happen next?

Cheers to possibilities and even more wondrous possibilities!

(c) Niconica 2011*

*does not apply to image/s