Niconica's Pinpricks

Being “Just Friends”

niconica — Tue, 21 Feb 2012 20:45:05 +0000

It goes without saying that being “just friends” with someone who fancy is an excruciating experience and it often begs the question as to why it’s even worth the effort.

Sometimes despite our better judgement we are unable to let go of some vestige of hope, attachment, or contact with the object of our attraction and so we stay unless something compels us to abandon this cruel situation.

It’s never as simple though when we interact with them since bring up anything concerning romance would be uncomfortable at best and painful at worst.

We would not want them to elaborate about their love life, be it past, present or future, simply because we are not part of it and it’s not for a lack of wanting.

It is therefore a lopsided simile of a friendship because there are topics which are off limits and we always find ourselves on guard. It’s never easy and never as simple and eventually, something has to give.

When Reality Sinks In

niconica — Sat, 18 Feb 2012 20:43:33 +0000

When the fact that beating a dead horse is futile eventually sinks in, we would eventually learn to move forward and leave futile attempts at a relationship behind.

When it actually dawns upon us that our attempts at conversation and connection are unwelcome, we should eventually recognize a lost cause for what it is.

We might not move forward immediately but this realization is crucial, it plants the seed for eventually being able to leave an inert situation behind.

Why We Need A Good Emotional Anchor

niconica — Fri, 17 Feb 2012 18:40:56 +0000

More often than not we let ourselves get carried away by our feelings and it’s not the most prudent way of going about our lives.

Many people tend to play fast and loose with their words and actions and when we take them seriously, we lose our balance and find ourselves falling for them even if they don’t deserve it.

We must have a good emotional anchor and not let mere words or fleeting moments sway us because these cannot be counted upon in the long run. It is not and shouldn’t be about impulse.

We should not impute more behind people’s words and actions than they have specified because seeing such show of affection with rose-coloured glasses will not be to our benefit.

We must hold fast to our centres, to our emotional anchor and not be swayed by mere gestures and call to mind the general tendency and history of interactions and keep things in perspective.

Just because we fancy someone, it’s not enough cause to lose our sense over them. We can fancy someone and hold back because it doesn’t mean we have to go after everything and anything that catches our eye especially if mixed signals are being given.

Let’s not mistake friendly affection for something more than that and this down to earth approach will be easier to achieve with a strong emotional anchor– one that will be a product of our self-discipline and self-preservation instinct.

What Great Fiction Writing Does

niconica — Thu, 16 Feb 2012 18:44:21 +0000

Nothing beats the sensation of being caught up in a lovely novel and letting the fictional world and characters take us away.

In this fictional world, we are voyeurs… Merely spactators of the unfolding world around us and immune to the burdens of real life.

At it’s best, great fiction is escapism and nothing compares to being lost among the words and the pages and leaving our daily cares behind.

Great writing is an efficient balm against our mundane concerns and transports us into another reality. For true book lovers, nothing else can compare to what great fiction writing provides.

The James Potter Series by G. Norman Lippert

niconica — Tue, 14 Feb 2012 18:15:20 +0000

It is with a heavy heart thay i read the link on www.jamespotterseries.com where Lippert says that he will be putting the writing of thr fourth book of the lovely James Potter series James Potter and the Morrigan Web on hold so that he may be taken seriously as a writer and not merely a fan fiction writer.

It seems to me that he has proved his mettle with the three James Potter books and it’s sad that he would have to take a break from writing the interesting James Potter series just to prove that he is a serious writer.

Isn’t the mark of a serious writer the passion to tell wonderful stories as evidenced by having millions of readers? And he definitely has a wide readership and a following as he has taken the known HP world a step further.

I just recently finished reading the third book and would be purchasing Lippert’s other books Ruins of Camelot (www.ruinsofcamelot.com) and The Riverhouse (www.riverhousebook.com) to support him in continuing and being able to enthrall us with the James Potter series. Both these books are available on Amazon Kindle.

It’s a pity that his Girl on the Dock (www.girlonthedock.com) book is not available on Amazon Kindle because I’d definitely purchase it too to support a promising writer.

If you are an avid Harry Potter fan and have suffered the post-Potter depression as I have, no doubt the James Potter series (www.jamespotterseries.com) would cheer you up and transport you from the mundane Muggle world back to Hogwarts and the Wizarding World.

James Potter and the Vault of Destinies

niconica — Tue, 14 Feb 2012 14:30:08 +0000

As far as fan fiction goes, G. Norman Lippert is at the top of the heap for sheer volume, scope, and creativity despite a few slight weaknesses along the way.

I’ve enjoyed reading all the books of the James Potter series. I felt that the first two JP books characterization was weaker (though still interesting and creative) and that the plot was resolved satisfactorily.

In JP3 (James Potter and the Vault of Destinies), the characters were well developed and the premise of the plot was compelling and complex.

All the promise of the creative and intricate world building fell short at the ending which felt more like an ending of a chapter than a conclusive ending to a book.

The ending was rather abrupt and seemed more like the build-up towards the big climax and I have to admit I felt disappointed because I wanted more from it.

I also felt that the ending was vague and did not resolve or explain the main dilemma satisfactorily which was restoring what is missing and returning certain objects to their rightful place (without giving too much away).

It feels that James Potter and the Vault of Destinies is JP3-Part 1 and an equal length part 2 would be needed to resolve the Vault of Destinies issue comprehensively.

It is actually to Lippert’s credit that he has created such a robust world drawing upon the world Rowling has created, and manages to weave magically elaborate plot in JP3 that it seems that the Vault of Destinies still has a way to go before “The End” and before the next JP book.

If JP4 is created without resolving the Vault of Destinies book, it would leave us hanging since the tradition of the Harry Potter books is that the books are continuing but at the same time self-contained in the sense that they satisfactorily resolve the issue placed in the title.

Hoping for James Potter Book 4 (JP4)

niconica — Mon, 13 Feb 2012 12:01:46 +0000

I’m hoping that G. Norman Lippert continue to write books in the James Potter series. Is book four in the works?

I’m currently reading the kindle edition of the third book as downloaded from www.jamespotterseries.com and enjoying it.

I have not finished reading the whole book yet but I’m enjoying it immensely, more than the first two James Potter books.

Lippert is in his element in James Potter and the Vault of Destinies with the setting being in America and has managed to create a compelling American wizarding universe and background and a relatively complex and solid plot.

I look forward to reviewing JP3 when I’ve finished reading it.

The Danger of Rebound Relationships

niconica — Sun, 12 Feb 2012 11:25:33 +0000

The specter of the ex haunts a rebound relationship and it will not be unlikely that we end up paying for the mistakes of the ex, unfairly so.

There are clear signs that the person is not over their ex yet or exhibiting rebound symptoms when they lash out at us for no reason at all and upon further inquiry, we find out that they have attributed intentions and motivations of their exes upon us

This sort of lashing out can only be borne for a certain period and after a while it becomes old and any sane person will not stand for having to pay for another person’s mistakes or tendencies

Even after apology has been made, the pain inflicted and the damage done cannot be easily assuaged. When a person is unthinking enough to take out their frustrations about their ex on the next potential romantic interest, it reflects an undeniable inconsiderate streak, not to mention an illogical lack of perspective.

It might be that had the ex relationship not been a painful or frustrating one, the person who is rebounding might be someone decent to have a relationship with or perhaps without the context of the past relationship, unprovoked painful words would not have been said.

However, we would never know now since the past cannot be undone and we don’t have the patience of saints to be the emotional punching bag and/or personal therapist of the person.

Suffice it to say, it’s not a great idea to get involved with someone who is on a rebound. Most likely than not, we would not be standing on fair ground and we would be disadvantaged and have to effectively “pay” for past emotional crimes which we have not committed and therefore cannot resolve.

Small Talk and Safe Topics

niconica — Sat, 11 Feb 2012 11:10:37 +0000

When we feel constrained by certain factors in the relationship to merely stick to small talk and safe topics, it’s not a positive development in the relationship.

It may be that it doesn’t start out that way but through a series of unpleasant discussions or interactions where the other party has expressed contempt, condescension, and anger towards us, we gradually learn to tread on safer ground in the case where we decide to stay around.

The connection becomes a shadow of what it once was especially when we feel anxious when we interact with the other and when we feel that we are not able to be ourselves anymore and when there are restrictions and constrictions to how we may or may not be.

Being relegated to mere small talk and safe topics is a definite step back and there is no way to resolve this unless both parties discuss and mutually agree to remove perceived or real, conscious or unconscious sanctions upon the relationship.

Otherwise, the relationship will soon be as irrelevant as the small talk and safe topics which prevail.

Flat and Tepid

niconica — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 10:50:39 +0000

When we have gone through so many unpleasant disagreements, it leaves a bad taste in our mouth and even if we were otherwise inclined, we end up eventually resigning ourselves to the situation to avoid future misunderstandings.

We feel that we are walking on eggshells and we end up just talking about safe topics. It would get to the point that the interaction which was once new, vibrant, and active becomes a ghost of its former self where the topics are as flat and as safe as can be.

When deep discussions peter out to and transform into small talk, there’s a relief that at least it’s not the usual unpleasant arguments but at the same time there is a sinking feeling that things will no longer be the same and perhaps the friendship or relationship is dying.

If the small talk continues this way, albeit it being a more pleasant alternative to difficult arguments, it does not a positive development since it shows that one or both parties have clammed up and/or given up. It’s just a matter of time before the connection dissolves.