There’s a difference between speaking and communicating.  We learn to speak at a young age and sometimes, we never get around to learning how to communicate.  We have the mistaken notion that communicating is achieved through merely expressing how we feel and this is simply not the case.

Randomly or indiscriminately expressing how we feel or think can be likened to, as distasteful as it may sound, ‘Verbal Diarrhea.”  It is a symptom of an unhealthy thinking pattern and can be destructive to relationships and friendships.

Communicating entails prior thought before words spill forth from our lips and we must be prepared to be responsible for the results and the effect of what we say.  Every single random thing that crosses our minds do not have automatic validity to be uttered, because, admit it or not, a lot of rubbish goes through our head in the course of even a few minutes.

When we attempt to communicate to another,we must be careful and think about what we really truly feel without wanting to manipulate the other person into responding the way we want them to because as common as this move is, it’s ultimately counterproductive to having an authentic relationship.

Sometimes, what we have to say might not be the most pleasant to another’s ears and instead of sweeping everything up and hiding them under the rug, there are some things which much be communicated but in such a manner where the other person would not find it threatening but firmly enough that they take it seriously.

It is often the case that when we are at the point when we are having an important conversation with our loved one that we are unsure about how we truly feel or what we want from the situation apart from the general feeling of being happy, sad, angry, etc. about a situation and it would be good to acknowledge this to the other person that perhaps one would need a minute or two (or a day or two) to figure out what one would like to convey instead of just speaking for the sake of speaking without care for possible collateral damage.

What we must remember about love and communication is that they are not two separate things, we must communicate with love and prudence.  We must not take for granted that just because we can speak that we would automatically know how to communicate properly with another.

When it doubt, pause, and ask/research/read before speaking.

(c) Niconica 2011*

*does not apply to image/s

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